Dating With a View to Marriage

Julie and Lee were dating and were determined to remain morally clean. But one evening when they were alone, their sexual feelings began to build. Fortunately, they came to their senses before going too far and committing a serious wrong.

TRUE worship involves more than simply attending a weekly religious service. It is a way of life that influences one’s conduct and moral standards. Jesus Christ said that only those “doing the will” of God merit His favor.  To please God, we need to keep our relationship with the opposite sex honorable and date with a view to marriage.

How can you keep your relationship clean in God’s eyes, especially in view of the tremendous pressure on couples to throw moral restraint aside? First, recognize that God’s standards were set down with our very best interests in mind. Second, accept the truth about human nature. Third, lay definite ground rules for right behavior. And fourth, have God in your relationship. Consider these points one by one.

Standards Tailor-Made for Our Benefit

At Isaiah 48:17, 18, we read: “I, Jehovah, am your God, the One teaching you to benefit yourself, the One causing you to tread in the way in which you should walk. O if only you would actually pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”

Yes, the commandments and principles set down in God’s inspired Word, the Holy Bible, are for our benefit. (2 Timothy 3:16, 17) They are evidence that our Creator really cares about us and wants us to be happy and successful in all aspects of life. (Psalm 19:7-10) Is that how you feel in your heart? If so, you are showing true wisdom.

Accept the Truth About Yourself

Like a true friend, Jehovah is honest with us; he tells us the truth about ourselves. For example, his Word warns us that “the heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) The Bible also states: “He [or she] that is trusting in his own heart is stupid, but he that is walking in wisdom is the one that will escape.”—Proverbs 28:26.

How might a couple who are dating show that they trust in their own hearts? One way is by allowing themselves to get into circumstances where they may be tempted to become overly intimate, similar to the couple mentioned above. Another way is by disregarding the wise advice of God-fearing parents. Such parents know that sexual feelings, especially during youth, can be like a powerful engine that has to be well controlled.

Hence, young people who ‘walk in godly wisdom’ take parental guidance seriously. Yes, they take to heart the advice of parents who love them enough to say things that a son or daughter may not want to hear. Of course, the one who loves you most is your heavenly Father, Jehovah God, who advises you to “remove vexation from your heart, and ward off calamity from your flesh.” (Ecclesiastes 11:9, 10) How can you do that? By not giving in to improper desires.

Lay Clear Ground Rules for Behavior

“With those consulting together there is wisdom.” (Proverbs 13:10) Early in their relationship, prudent couples apply those words by agreeing on Scripturally appropriate expressions of affection and by being determined to stay within those limits. To take liberties with each other or to be overconfident is like driving dangerously. It is too late to make resolutions about road safety when you are being pulled out of a wreck!

“A shrewd man [or woman] sees trouble coming and lies low,” the Bible says. “The simple walk into it and pay the penalty.”(Proverbs 22:3, The New English Bible) Couples can avoid much trouble by dating in the company of a wholesome group or a suitable chaperone. The penalty for foolishness while dating may include a damaged conscience, lack of respect for yourself and the other person, and shame for all concerned, including family members. So be shrewd; agree to apply Scriptural standards and stick to them!

Make Jehovah the ‘Third Cord’

Marriage is like a threefold cord, with God as the primary strand. “A threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two,” says Ecclesiastes 4:12. The same principle can apply to dating couples. Those who want God’s blessing on their relationship receive that blessing when they stay close to God individually. Says Psalm 1:1-3: “Happy is the man [or woman] that has not walked in the counsel of the wicked ones . . . But his delight is in the law of Jehovah, and in his law he reads in an undertone day and night . . . , and everything he does will succeed.”

Yes, real success in life, including success in courtship and marriage, comes when we do things Jehovah’s way. After all, he is our Creator, and romantic attraction and marriage are precious gifts from him. As such, they deserve our utmost respect.—James 1:17.

She Was A Virgin

A guy (Names withheld) dated a girl for 2 years without sexual intercourse. Even after the Introduction, the girl did not allow him to touch her so a wedding date was fixed. The day before the wedding  was the bachelors eve so all his friends were in attendance with their girlfriends and fun rented the air. It was wild and captivating, in time he became horny from watching his friends and their partners and again his Fiancee turned him down begging him to wait a little longer. At last the D-Day came and the groom was patiently waiting for the wedding to come to an end. Finally they became Man and Wife!

Back in their matrimonial home, the man invited his woman to the bathroom but she refused that she is too shy to take a bath with him.  After that he made passes but she complained of tiredness and needed some rest. He got mad and left her alone. At 10pm, a 5 man armed robbers attacked the neighborhood and their apartment was not spared. They robbed them and decided to rape the wife. The first disvirgined her and others took turns in ravaging her. She lost  her consciousness and was rushed to the hospital. After she regained her consciousness, her dear husband sent her packing.

Did he do the right thing by sending her away? What would you do if you were in his shoes?

What Will You Do, If You Were Cheated on?

A man walked up to me, and told me he was planning a marriage ceremony with his soon to become wife, and after spending greater portion of his savings for the marriage, he discovered that his finance  had cheated on him 2 weeks prior to the wedding date, then he looked up the sky and asked the Creator of mankind why such was happening to him,  he quickly called and cancelled the marriage with a vow never to trust any woman in this world.

  Every one invited were forced to ask the parties involve in the marriage what was the  reason for the cancellation, but the man told them to ask the woman, and when she was asked she told every one to help her beg the man, that she just wanted to have to test of another man knowing it was going to be the last time she had another man, so she don't get to cheat when she is married, she was forced to cheat because her husband slept with another woman during their courtship and she understood he was doing it for the last time. Now the whole family is Trying to see how they an help out.

    So please I want everyone that read this to tell me what they will tell the couples if they were to advise them?