HOW TO MAKE REAL FRIEND

We All Need Friends

“A friend is someone you can talk to freely about anything, someone you can call any time of the day.” —Yaël, France

“A friend understands when you’re hurt and feels the same things inside that you do.” —Gaëlle, France

“THERE exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24) Since the time those words were written in the Bible some 3,000 years ago, human nature has not changed. Friendship is still as vital to the human spirit as food and water are to the human body. Yet, for many, satisfying this basic need for friendship is difficult. Loneliness is common. “We don’t have to look far to see some of the causes,” state Carin Rubenstein and Phillip Shaver in their book In Search of Intimacy. They cite such factors as “widespread mobility”—people changing residence frequently—“impersonal, crime-ridden cities,” and “the substitution of television and home videotape-viewing for face-to-face community life.”

Modern life also spreads our time and energy thin. “Today’s city dweller comes into contact with more people in a week than the seventeenth-century villager did in a year or even a lifetime,” writes Letty Pogrebin in her book Among Friends. With potentially hundreds of acquaintances crowding our lives, it can be difficult to focus on individuals long enough to develop and sustain deep friendships.

Even in places where not long ago the pace of life was less hectic, social conditions are changing rapidly. “We used to feel very, very close to our friends,” says Ulla, who lives in Eastern Europe. “But now many immerse themselves in their jobs or in personal pursuits. Everyone is busy all the time, and we sense our old friendships slowly coming apart.” In the haste of the times, friendships can get relegated to a lower priority.

But our need for friends remains acute. Young people in particular feel this need. As Yaël, quoted above, explains, “when you are young, you need to feel accepted and to belong, to feel close to someone.” Young or old, we all need happy and meaningful friendships. And despite the challenges, there is much we can do to make and keep real friends. The following articles will discuss this.

5 Thing you should consider before Getting into a New Relationship

After any long-term relationship it may be tough to find the inner strength or desire to open your heart to love again. When a love interest comes knocking at your door, how do you know that old battle wounds and scars have been healed enough to let love in? Seeing as each person is completely individual, there really isn't a way to know exactly when the right time to begin a new relationship is. What may work for one person, may not work for another. Fortunately, there are a few key attributes that successful relationships have in common. If you find that you meet these, then it may be time to let love in. When you're ready to analyze your heart's state of affairs, take an honest look at the questions below to determine how ready you really are.

1 - How stable is your life?
How can you possibly hope to keep a relationship together if your life isn't put together properly? I think many of us use relationships as a way to help fix ourselves, when actually; we should be trying to do that before we find someone else. Isn't it true that a good many of our love interests result from someone who was there to give us a stable hand? How do you think your next relationship will benefit if you were already stable?

2 - Have you learned something about yourself from every past relationship?
On our path through life we encounter many different obstacles, people and experiences. This is what makes us unique. Everyone has a different life experience. The people who create happy lives take each experience and make it work for them, especially if it is a negative one. If you haven't learned something about the way you interact with another person from your past relationships, you're living in cycle that won't get broken until you take the time to find out. You can't possibly expect to break negative habits if you're not aware of them.

3 - Have you narrowed down your specific desires as to what type of person you want to meet?
Each relationship offers us an opportunity to review our master list of qualities of our ideal mate. Sometimes, what we thought we wanted didn't even come close to what we really needed. After a long-term relationship it is especially prudent to revise your list of desirable traits. Were there things about your past partner that hindered you from being really you? What traits would help you feel the most comfortable with being yourself?

4 - Are you really over your past?
I know, you're probably thinking it's a misprint? You may be thinking "Don't you mean past love?" Sometimes, I find we identify our past with our past loves. Our life may have included something that was special that we may be feeling is missing now. Somehow that gets wrapped up in our emotions with our past love. So, instead of trying to find new ways to make our life more complete, we think we need to have our past love to feel complete. Make sure you identify your real sources of desire before beginning a new relationship.

5 - Have you talked about your feelings with someone else?
It is often easier to deal with the real issues of the heart privately. However, this isn't always the best option. Talking about what's really going on in your mind and your heart gives you the opportunity to release any painful or negative emotions you didn't know you had bottled up. Trust me, there are almost always bottled up emotions you're unaware of. If you don't have anyone you feel you can trust to talk to, try talking to a group of people online. A great place to start would be our anonymous advice forums. Use them as a sounding board to get inspiration or just to get everything off your chest. Whoever you talk to, you'll be glad you did.

Is Living Together a Good Foundation for Marriage?

A man and a woman who were viewed as husband and wife were used to fighting right in front of their children, and this has gone a long way to affect the life of their children who were just growing, so the fighting has called for attention of the public, because they always fight has people who were just forced to marry each other. All these was caused because they had fail to heed to the bible counsel of getting married before a man and a woman of can live together has husband and wife.

Two people of the opposite sex living together without the benefit of marriage has become a common phenomenon in industrialized societies across the world and about half of cohabiting individual view living together as away to assess compatibility prior to marriage, seemingly, then this arrangement should eliminate poor matches and make subsequent marriages more stable.Among married individuals, premarital co-habitation is related to lower marital satisfaction, less time spent together in shared activities, higher levels of marital disagreement, less supportive behavior, less positive problem solving, and more reports of marital problems, Furthermore compared with couples who enter directly into marriage, couples who cohabit first have higher risk of marital dissolution {Divorce}.As this study demonstrates, what might seem prudent from human standpoint may in reality be very unwise. This fact underscores the truth of the word at Jeremiah 10:23. "It does not belong to man......even to direct his step." How much wiser it is to look to God's word, the bible, which provides much fine counsel on the subject of marriage.

For example regarding the marital relationship, the bible says: " A man will leave his father and mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh, heeding to the bible Devinne directives will help us have a successful relation and marriage instead of following flawed and often fickle human reasoning, greatly improves prospect for a truly happy and lasting marriage.

Why not let the bible control you way of life, so that you will not even think of living with any member of the opposite sex without marriage, because this will be really bad and can cause marital resolution in you marriage life, and these will go a long way to affect your family life and the way things are done in your home.

So what you should do if you find out that you and your mate are not legally married is for you to separate or get legally married. So that they will be a Devinne blessing in your family, and you will be blessed by the creator of mankind by heeding to his counsel.

How you can help the Elderly

We are living in the last days, and now things are just going all in opposite ways human were created from the beginning of creation on ward, the more humans live into the state of imperfection the more respect for the elderly deteriorate, and these has made many older ones often feel they are been left behind in our modern fast-paced world, and this has lead to a lot of depression among the elderly, and this is not a part of normal aging process.
The following are ways you can help the elderly :-
(1) Preserve Their Dignity: Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but be appealing to him as a father, to older woman as a mother.
(2) Listen Carefully. Be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about speaking, slow about wrath. Put your legs in the shoes, that is assume you were the older person, how will you feel if your grand child should talk to you harshly and make you feel unwanted, definitely you feel bad and unhappy, so think and improve in your manner of talking to the elderly ways one that is if you have a conscience, and what to rip a good reward.
(3) Show Empathy: God’s word urge us to like-minded, showing fellow feelings, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate, humble in mind, not paying back injury for injury or reviling for reviling, applying this will help us a lot in our way of treating the elderly ones.
(4) Discern when encouragement is Needed: As apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time for it, so try to encourage any older person that they is still hope of been young again under God’s messianic kingdom, tell them never to see their old age as the end to their life, because humans were not created by God to live for a short while and die, so they is hope for them to be young again in the future. (Job 33:25).
(5) Include them in your activities: If you are doing any thing that is wholesome try to include them in your activity, by doing so you will be encouraging them and making them feel accepted and needed, that along will help prolong their life span and you will always learn from them, ways you can include them in your activities may include sport or going out for tourism and other wholesome activities. “Fellow the course of hospitality.”-Romans 12:13
(6) Offer Practical Assistance. Whoever has this world’s means for supporting life and behold his brother having need and yet shuts the door of his tender compassions upon him, in what way does the love of God remain in him? Little children, lets us love, neither in word nor tongue, but in deed and truth. So offer practical help to the elderly ones, like helping them wash their cloths, cleaning their apartments and other ways you think they need your assistance.
(7) Be long-suffering. “clothes yourselves with the tender affection of compassion, kindness, lowliness of mind, mildness and long-suffering.”
By caring for the elderly, we show respect for God’s own standards because his word states: “You must show consideration for an old man or woman. Leviticus 19: 32, by so doing you will be blessed by God and will live plenty days on earth, and when you grow older no one is going to treat you in a bad way, because you will be ripping the reward of what you sow when you were young.

Solutions to Drug Abuse!!!!

"EVERYONE takes drugs." That sweeping statement may be used to induce the naive to experiment with illicit drugs. But depending on how we define "drugs," those words contain an element of truth. The term "drug" is defined as: "Any chemical substance, whether of natural or synthetic origin, which can be used to alter perception, mood or other psychological states." That is a useful, broad description of what are called psychoactive drugs, although it does not cover many medicinal drugs used for physical ailments. According to that definition, alcohol is a drug. The danger lies in its immoderate use, which is evidently increasing. A survey of colleges and universities in a Western country found that "binge drinking is the most serious drug problem on college campuses." The survey revealed that 44 percent of students were binge drinkers.* Like alcohol, tobacco is legally available, although it contains a powerful poison, nicotine. According to the World Health Organization, smoking kills about four million people a year. Yet, tobacco barons are wealthy, honored members of society. Cigarette smoking is also highly addictive, perhaps more so than the use of many of the illegal drugs. In recent years numerous countries have curbed tobacco advertising and imposed other restrictions. Nevertheless, many people still see smoking as an acceptable social activity. Smoking continues to be glamorized by the film industry. A University of California at San Francisco survey of top money-making films between the years 1991 and 1996 found that 80 percent of the leading men portrayed characters who smoked. Young people overdrinking Binge drinking is a major problem on many college campuses What About "Safe" Drugs? Medicinal drugs have certainly benefited many, but they can be abused. Doctors may at times prescribe drugs too easily, or they are pressured by patients to prescribe drugs that are not necessary. One physician commented: "Doctors don't always take time to sit with the patient to work out the cause of his symptoms. It's easier to say, 'Take this pill.' But the primary problem is not addressed." Even nonprescription drugs, such as aspirin and paracetamol (Tylenol, Panadol), if abused can lead to serious health problems. Over 2,000 people worldwide die each year as a result of misusing paracetamol. According to our earlier definition, the caffeine in tea and coffee is also a drug, although we hardly regard it as such when drinking our favorite breakfast brew. And it would be absurd to view socially acceptable drinks like tea or coffee in the same light as hard drugs like heroin. That would be like comparing a domestic kitten to a fierce lion. Nevertheless, according to some health experts, if you habitually drink more than five cups of coffee or nine cups of tea a day, it could do you harm. Furthermore, if you were to cut a very high intake drastically, you could undergo withdrawal symptoms similar to those of one tea drinker who experienced vomiting, severe headaches, and sensitivity to light. Man smoking a cigarette Many view cigarettes and "recreational" drugs as harmless What About the Illicit Use of Drugs? A more controversial issue is the use of drugs in sports. This was highlighted at the 1998 Tour de France when the nine cyclists of the top team were expelled for using performance-enhancing drugs. Athletes have devised various ways to counter drug tests. Time magazine reports that some have even gone so far as to have "'urine transplants,' meaning [that] someone else's 'clean' urine is inserted into their bladder via a catheter, an often painful procedure." We have yet to deal with the bewildering array of illicit drugs used for "recreational" purposes. These include marijuana, ecstasy (methylenedioxy-methamphetamine, or MDMA), LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide), uppers (stimulants like cocaine and amphetamines), downers (depressants like tranquilizers), and heroin. Not to be forgotten are the various inhalants, such as glue and gasoline, that are popular among the young. Of course, these inhalants are not banned substances and are readily available. The common notion of an emaciated drug addict shooting up in a dingy room can be deceptive. Many on drugs are still able to function relatively normally in everyday life, although their addiction must affect the quality of their life to a greater or lesser degree. Nevertheless, we cannot minimize the dark side of the drug scene. One writer describes how some cocaine users "are capable of 'shooting up' dozens of times in a single session, converting their bodies into needle-pricked, bloody, and bruised messes." After an apparent decline in the late 1980's, illegal drug use is on the rise again worldwide. Newsweek magazine observed: "Authorities are overwhelmed by an onslaught of drug smuggling, a rise in drug use of almost every kind and a dearth of funds—and information—needed to fight it." The Star newspaper of Johannesburg, South Africa, stated that according to government statistics, "one in four people living in South Africa are addicted to alcohol or drugs." The UN Research Institute for Social Development pointed out that "drug producers and traffickers . . . have organized themselves on a global scale and put a significant proportion of their drug profits in financial centres offering secrecy and attractive investment returns. . . . Drug traffickers are now able to launder illicit profits by moving money around the world electronically with few national controls." It appears that many Americans may handle cocaine daily, albeit unknowingly. An article in Discover magazine explained that most American bank notes bear traces of the drug. The fact is that today the use of drugs, including illicit drugs, has become acceptable to many, viewed as a part of everyday life. Considering the widely publicized damage caused by illicit drugs as well as tobacco and alcohol, the obvious question is, Why do people abuse them? As we ponder this question, it is a good time to reflect on our own views about drugs.