PARTS OF YOUR BODY THAT MAKES YOU LOOK ATTRACTIVE

1. The Eyes
Often cited as the windows to the soul, the eyes were given as the number one feature you notice first! How do you improve it? If you're a woman, get out the books and fashion magazines and research some tips on making your eyes sparkle. If you're a guy, or if you are not big on make up, try these tips that always makes the eyes look great:

• Get enough sleep. Red around the eyes is not very attractive.
  
  
• Get your eyebrows shaped. The eyebrows are often over-looked, but if shaped properly can add a whole new dimension to your eyes.
  
  
• Look directly at the person you are talking with. It shows your confident, and that you interested in them as person.

2. Your Smile
You can tell how open and loving a person is by their smile. And, if that special someone's curved, gorgeous lips are directed towards you... watch out! Improving this is as easy as taking care of your lips. Keep them out of the sun, or protected, and be real when you smile. Remember the instant turn off, a fake smile.

3. The Face
The attraction to the face is fairly self-explanatory. If that special someone doesn't like looking at it, then you're going to have problems! To keep your face looking great, keep it clean and protected from the sun. Find some products that work best for you and USE them!

4. Your Personality
Your personality is something that can't quite be changed unless you want it to be. So be comfortable with who you are, and the people who are around will be comfortable with you to!

5. Your Hair
There is something about running your fingers through silken locks of hair than can drive both men and woman alike crazy. If you don't feel confident about your hair, take a trip to the salon and find a style you really like. This is one area where it may be worth the extra money to get something really great!

6. Your Figure
The only thing that can help you here is good old fashion exercise and healthy eating. Or, a great self-image! :) Don't be fooled into thinking you have to have "the perfect body" either! Being confident about who you are is more than enough for someone who's worth having!

7. Your Posture
Someone who slouches, or walks with their head down is easy to associate with laziness or lack of ambition. Therefore, your posture is incredibly important when it comes to first impressions. To improve your posture, try stretching daily and/or a visit to your chiropractor.

8. Your Mouth
Your mouth is an easy target for desirability. Soft, full lips just beg to be kissed. Keep your lips in top shape by following the advice for your smile!

9. Your Clothes
Your clothes, are like a window to your personality. The care and the time you take (or lack of) on selecting your clothes lets other people know what you are like. Depending on what you wear, they also help you attract certain types of people.

10. Your Hands
There is something about hands that seem to attract many people. Maybe it's the thought of being protected, or sharing an intimate moment with another person. Whatever the passion, you can keep your hands looking great by keeping your nails well groomed and clean, and protecting your skin with lotion and/or sun screen.

A Lone Parent, but Not Alone

"When my children come home and give me a hug and tell me that they love me, that's the best part of being a mother."—Maria, A SINGLE MOTHER OF TWO.

SINGLE parents can find reassurance in the Bible statement: "Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD." (Psalm 127:3, Contemporary English Version) When children are raised in a single-parent family, they are no less precious in God's eyes. Our Creator desires to see single-parent families succeed. The Bible says of him: "The fatherless boy and the widow he relieves." (Psalm 146:9) Single parents can be certain that God is ready to support them.

A child is entitled to be raised in a loving, safe, and secure environment that will allow him to develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is each parent's duty and privilege to be used by God to train a child.

Many single parents have found that success requires diligent prayer, consistent application of Bible principles, and complete reliance on Jehovah. This is in line with the exhortation found at Psalm 55:22: "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you."

From time to time, grandparents, local elders, and experienced parents in the Christian congregation may be available to assist a single-parent family to manage trying situations. True, family members and fellow worshipers can offer much to support the efforts of single parents, but the ultimate God-given responsibility rests with a child's parents.*

Happily, many single parents have managed successfully to handle the unique challenges of their situation and raise responsible, well-behaved, God-fearing children. Awake! spoke with a number of them. Here are some of the things such parents have in common.

* Sound home management. Successful single parents strive to be well organized and work hard to coordinate schedules. Proper planning and organization are essential. The Bible says: "The plans of the diligent one surely make for advantage."—Proverbs 21:5.
* Commitment. Successful single parents make family life one of their first priorities. They focus on putting the needs of their children ahead of their own.—1 Timothy 5:8.
* A balanced approach. Successful single parents neither minimize nor exaggerate problems; they seek solutions. They accept the difficulties and try to cope with them without self-pity or bitterness.
* Good communication. Successful single parents foster communication. They encourage clear and open expression of thoughts and feelings in the family. Says a single father about his children: "I talk to them at every opportunity. We have ‘cozy moments' when we prepare dinner. It is then that they really confide in me."
* Caring for oneself. Despite the demands on their time, successful single parents recognize that caring for their own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs is important. Ethel, a divorced single mother of two, explained: "I try to save some time for myself. For example, when a friend gives the children music lessons, that gives me an hour to myself. I sit down and leave the TV off."
* A positive attitude. Successful single parents maintain a positive outlook toward parenting and life in general. They see positive aspects in stressful situations. One single mother states: "I've come to realize that being a single parent is not all negative."



Gloria with her children

Family Bible study has helped Gloria's three children to become full-time Christian ministers. Here they look at a letter from and a photo of the oldest son, now serving as a missionary

Success Stories

Are these principles effective? Yes, as can be seen from numerous success stories of single parents. Gloria, a divorced, single working mother in England, who was mentioned in the first article, raised two sons and a daughter. All three of them grew up to become full-time Christian ministers, devoting their lives to promoting Bible education. When asked how she managed, Gloria explained: "The first challenge was to keep up a regular, interesting family Bible study. I wanted the children to be happy, to have peace of mind, to be content, and to be protected from pitfalls. I found a job working nights. My aim was to have the children with me whenever I could. Before I went to work, we had a family prayer and I put them to bed. My aunt stayed in the house while I was at work."

How did Gloria help her children set the right priorities? She continues: "My greatest aim was to put spiritual things first. We didn't have much money, and I was very open about this with the children. Whatever I asked them to do, I would do myself, and they were all cooperative." Reminiscing about how she kept a close-knit family, Gloria says: "The secret was doing things together. Nobody went off to his or her own room. We cooked, cleaned, decorated together. We balanced our activities. I always made sure there was recreation too."
Carolyn and her son, Joseph

Carolyn and her son, Joseph

Carolyn, a single mother of a young boy named Joseph, is pleased with the way he is growing up. What is her secret? "We read the Bible together at bedtime," she says, "and then I ask him questions about what he has learned. Additionally, we consider selected paragraphs from Bible-based publications and apply them personally. This helps Joseph when he faces problems, such as bullying at school." Carolyn admits that her life is by no means easy, but she does not feel that she is alone. She observes: "It is a constant struggle, but I feel that Jehovah has really helped me. I also receive a lot of encouragement from the Christian congregation."

The success stories of thousands of single parents, such as Gloria and Carolyn, prove that parents today can rely on the time-tested principles of the Bible to raise fine, spiritually strong children. (Proverbs 22:6) Success is possible! Single parenting provides many challenges that are opportunities for growth and sharing. Relying fully on God and being convinced that he will provide help is the best way to cope with the demands of single parenthood.—Psalm 121:1-3.

HOW A SINGLE PARENT CAN SUCEED

SINGLE-PARENT families have become a permanent and noticeable feature in many societies today.* As the traditional structure of husband, wife, and children gives way to other forms of family life, demographers and sociologists in many parts of the world are asking why.

Sociology professors Simon Duncan and Rosalind Edwards note that "long-term changes are taking place in family patterns and gender relations." Why? Some observers state that this is the result of people's choices about how they live their lives, within a context of economic, cultural, and social change.

Let us consider some of these changes, as well as the choices being made. Pressures of life are a major factor affecting people's lives. The outside world intrudes on their every waking hour. Time formerly spent on family activities is now spent on the Internet, in front of the TV, on the phone, in the car, on the run.

Economic pressures also take a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.#
The New Single Mother

Today's single mother does not necessarily fit the old stereotype of an unwed teen living on welfare. Unwed motherhood has lost much of its stigma and has even been glamorized by celebrity role models. In addition, many women are better educated and better able to support themselves—so marriage is no longer a financial prerequisite to motherhood.
Some Definitions

Various terms are used around the world to describe mothers who raise children alone. In some countries "single mother" is used to refer to never-married mothers, while in other lands "lone mother" is a term that encompasses a whole range of mothers who are bringing up children without a male partner in their household. Such mothers may be divorced, separated, or widowed, or they may never have been married.

In this series of articles, we use the terms "single parent" and "single mother" to refer to parents raising children without a spouse.

Some single mothers, especially adult children of divorced parents, remain single because they do not want to make their offspring suffer the pain of watching a parent leave. Other women become single mothers as a result of abandonment, not by choice. "Lone parenthood is not generally a selfish and wilful choice," states the Joseph Rowntree Foundation of Britain, "and children in lone-parent families are not neglected and undisciplined."

Still, the prevalence of single-parent families is a matter of concern because single parents and their children may suffer emotional stress, economic need, and social disadvantages. Some people may wonder if it is possible for one parent to raise children successfully. What are some of the special challenges facing single-parent families? How can a Christian successfully meet the challenge of raising children as a single parent?

* Sociologists point out that the number of single mothers 'overwhelmingly outweighs the number of single fathers.' Hence, these articles deal primarily with single mothers. However, the principles discussed apply equally to single fathers.

# For a detailed discussion of the general challenges of motherhood, see "Motherhood—Does It Take a Superwoman?" in the April 8, 2002, issue of Awake!


SINGLE PARENTHOOD—A TREND IN MANY LANDS

United States: "The number of single mothers increased between 1970 and 2000, from 3 million to 10 million; over the same time frame, the number of single fathers increased also, from 393,000 to 2 million."—U.S. Census Bureau.

Mexico: According to the newspaper La Jornada, teenage mothers account for about 27 percent of the total number of pregnancies in the country.

Ireland: The rate of single-parent households increased from 5.7 percent in 1981 to 7.9 percent in 1991. "Marital breakdown remains a very important route into single motherhood."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.


France: "Since the late 1970s, the proportion of single-parent families has increased by more than 50 per cent."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.

Greece: "Since 1980, the number of unwed mothers in [Greece] has increased by 29.8 percent. And according to data provided by the European Union, in 1997 the percentage of children born out of wedlock was 3.3 percent, while in 1980 it was only 1.1 percent."—Ta Nea newspaper, Athens, September 4, 1998.

Britain: "The proportion of families headed by a single parent has topped 25 per cent for the first time, reflecting a huge growth in the number of never-married mothers and a significant rise in the divorce rate over the past 30 years."—The Times, London, March 2, 2000.


Germany: "The number of single parents has doubled in the past two decades. Nearly all single-parent families . . . are headed by the mother."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.

Japan: 'Lone-mother families have been on the increase since the 1970's.' In 1997, 17 percent of all households were headed by single mothers.—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997; The World's Women 2000: Trends and Statistics.

Australia: Nearly 1 in 4 children live with only one of their biological parents. This is usually the result of a breakdown in the parents' marriage or relationship. It has been projected that one-parent families will increase between 30 percent and 66 percent over a 25-year period.—Australian Bureau of Statistics.

ACCURATE!! STEPS FOR BREAKING UP IN ANY RELATIONSHIP.

Just the words, break up, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.

#1 - Specific Reasons
Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.

#2 - Where To Do It
If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.

#3 - How To Do It
While following guideline #1 is important, you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.

#4 - After The Break Up
Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.

Your other option is to try a sliding scale approach. Agree to only call or see each other once or twice a week, and slowly narrow it down from there. Agree not to talk about certain things like wishing you were back together, or whether you are seeing anyone new, etc.

If you must remain in contact with them because of school, work or family it is important to remain mature about the situation. Don't run out and date everyone. Allow your partner some breathing room and time to digest their newly found situation. Also, avoid gossiping about what went wrong. It just makes everything ugly.

#5 - Trial Separation
If you are unsure about wanting a permanent break up, try a trial one instead. To signify your commitment to trying to work things out, arrange an agreed upon dating schedule with your partner, maybe once a week. Arrange for the exact dates and times when you are asking for the separation!
Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be."

WHEN SHOULD A RELATIONSHIP BE OVER?

There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.

Breakup signs are often very difficult to spot, primarily because the people involved often do not want to admit that the relationship has failed. And unless something comes along and hits them in the face, telling them it's over; the natural tendency is to try to work through the problems. This happens more so when the couple have been together for a while.

The question that remains, therefore, is at what point do you really know that it's over?

First lets start with the glaring signs that the relationship is over:

1. You catch your partner in the act of having an unforgivable affair.

2. Your partner uses physical violence against you.

3. You argue non-stop about everything. You can't agree on anything.

The above are obvious, any of the three things occurring above, ESPECIALLY NUMBER TWO, are sure signs that the relationship is coming to an, often abrupt, end.

There are however some other signs to look out for. Sometimes it is necessary to accept the painful fact that the relationship you are in is just not good for you. While I am usually the staunchest advocate for the "you can make it through anything as long as you have love" club, even I have to admit that there are situations where one or both of the partners are just better off apart.

The most common instance of this is when one partner is INTENTIALLY holding the other partner back. When two people have separate dreams and goals, friction can occur, especially if neither of them are willing to compromise. In some instances, however, jealousy leads one of the partner's to be excessively controlling of the other. In these situations, if they are UNRESOLVABLE, it is better to leave than stay.

Other reasons to leave include:

1. You realize that you don't love your partner.

2. You find yourself thinking more and more about how good single life was.

3. You realize that your partner doesn't love you, but is with you because they don't want to hurt you.

4. You have no common interests or goals.

5. You find that you cannot stand their annoying little habits, and they won't change.

6. You find it impossible to be yourself around your partner.

7. Your partner cuts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, and constantly devalues your goals and ideas.

Under no circumstances should anyone stay in a relationship that is bad for them, just because they feel that being in a relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone.