Can Riches Make You Happy?

Do you think that riches would make you happy? If somebody gave you a large sum of money, would you not be pleased? Probably you would. Likely you could think of ways to spend it.

ADMITTEDLY, there are plenty of things to buy to make life more comfortable and enjoyable. Money can also serve "for a protection" against unexpected problems, such as disease or unemployment.—Ecclesiastes 7:12.

But what is the relationship between money and happiness? Do you think, as many do, that happiness is a by-product of wealth? Finding the answers to these questions may be difficult because money can easily be measured, or counted, while happiness cannot. You cannot put happiness on a scale and weigh it.

Then, too, some rich people seem to be happy, while others are miserable. The same is true of those who are poor. Still, most people—even those who are already wealthy—believe that more money will bring them greater happiness.

One person who wrote about such matters was King Solomon of ancient Israel. He was one of the richest men who ever lived. You can read a description of his enormous wealth in the 10th chapter of the Bible book of First Kings. Notice, for example, that verse 14 states: "The weight of the gold that came to Solomon in one year amounted up to six hundred and sixty-six talents of gold." That figure is equivalent to 25 tons of gold. Today, that much gold would be worth well over $200,000,000, U.S.!

Yet, Solomon was not merely rich; he was blessed by God with wisdom. The Bible relates: "King Solomon was greater in riches and wisdom than all the other kings of the earth. And all the people of the earth were seeking the face of Solomon to hear his wisdom that God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:23, 24) We too can benefit from Solomon's wisdom, since his writings make up part of the Bible record. Let us see what he had to say about the relationship between wealth and happiness

How to Make Real Friends

We All Need Friends
“A friend is someone you can talk to freely about anything, someone you can call any time of the day.” —Mary
“A friend understands when you’re hurt and feels the same things inside that you do.” —John
“THERE exists a friend sticking closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24) Since the time those words were written in the Bible some 3,000 years ago, human nature has not changed. Friendship is still as vital to the human spirit as food and water are to the human body. Yet, for many, satisfying this basic need for friendship is difficult. Loneliness is common. “We don’t have to look far to see some of the causes,” state Carin Rubenstein and Phillip Shaver in their book In Search of Intimacy. They cite such factors as “widespread mobility”—people changing residence frequently—“impersonal, crime-ridden cities,” and “the substitution of television and home videotape-viewing for face-to-face community life.”

Modern life also spreads our time and energy thin. “Today’s city dweller comes into contact with more people in a week than the seventeenth-century villager did in a year or even a lifetime,” writes Letty Pogrebin in her book Among Friends. With potentially hundreds of acquaintances crowding our lives, it can be difficult to focus on individuals long enough to develop and sustain deep friendships.

Even in places where not long ago the pace of life was less hectic, social conditions are changing rapidly. “We used to feel very, very close to our friends,” says Ulla, who lives in Eastern Europe. “But now many immerse themselves in their jobs or in personal pursuits. Everyone is busy all the time, and we sense our old friendships slowly coming apart.” In the haste of the times, friendships can get relegated to a lower priority.

But our need for friends remains acute. Young people in particular feel this need. As Yaël, quoted above, explains, “when you are young, you need to feel accepted and to belong, to feel close to someone.” Young or old, we all need happy and meaningful friendships. And despite the challenges, there is much we can do to make and keep real friends. The following articles will discuss this.

How Can I Avoid Getting Involved With the Wrong People?

WHY did Beverly reach the conclusion expressed above? She now realizes that this girl influenced her to become involved in unwholesome trends. “As I continued to associate with her,” Beverly explains, “I also became involved in spiritistic books, even writing a story along those lines.”

A youth named Melanie was also led into misconduct—but by someone claiming to be a fellow Christian! How can you know whether someone is likely to be a wholesome associate? Is it always dangerous to associate closely with unbelievers? Are friendships formed between fellow Christians always safe?

In particular, what about friendship with a member of the opposite sex? If you are looking at someone as a potential marriage mate, how can you know whether the relationship is likely to be a wholesome one? Let us see how Bible principles can help answer such questions.
What Kind of Friends Are Good?

Should the fact that her schoolmate was not a worshipper of the true God have made Beverly hesitate to cultivate a friendship with her? Granted, true Christians do not assume that a person is indecent or immoral simply because he or she is not a fellow believer. But when it comes to forming close bonds, there is reason to be cautious. The apostle Paul warned those in the first-century Corinthian congregation: “Bad company ruins character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33, The Bible—An American Translation) What did he mean?

It is quite possible that some of those Corinthian Christians were associating with the Epicureans, followers of the Greek philosopher Epicurus. Now, Epicurus did teach his followers to live in accordance with good sense, courage, self-control, and justice. He even discouraged them from secret wrongdoing. So why would Paul consider the Epicureans, and even those within the congregation with similar ideas, to be “bad associations”?

The Epicureans were not worshippers of the true God. Since they did not believe in a resurrection of the dead, their focus was on making the most of their current life. (Acts 17:18, 19, 32) Little wonder, then, that because of keeping company with such ones, some in the congregation at Corinth had begun to lose faith in the resurrection. That is why 1 Corinthians chapter 15—in which we find Paul’s warning against bad association—is packed with arguments designed to reconvince those early Christians of the reality of the resurrection hope.

The point? Even godless people may manifest fine qualities. But if you choose them as your close friends, your thinking, faith, and conduct will be affected. Thus, in his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul stated: “Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.”— 2 Corinthians 6:14-18.

Fred, aged 16, learned the wisdom of Paul’s words. He initially agreed to join an extracurricular school effort that involved traveling to a developing land to help teach children there. However, as he and his fellow students prepared together, Fred had a change of heart. He said: “I could see that so much time spent in their company would do me no good spiritually.” For this reason Fred chose to withdraw from the project and to help disadvantaged ones in other ways.
Friendships Among Fellow Christians

What, though, about friendships inside the Christian congregation? When writing to the young man Timothy, Paul warned: “In a large house there are vessels not only of gold and silver but also of wood and earthenware, and some for an honorable purpose but others for a purpose lacking honor. If, therefore, anyone keeps clear of the latter ones, he will be a vessel for an honorable purpose, sanctified, useful to his owner, prepared for every good work.” (2 Timothy 2:20, 21) So Paul did not gloss over the reality that even among Christians, there may be some who do not conduct themselves honorably. And he was just as frank in exhorting Timothy to keep clear of such ones.

Does this mean you should be suspicious of your fellow Christians? No. Nor does it mean that you should expect your friends to be flawless. (Ecclesiastes 7:16-18) However, the mere fact that a young person attends Christian meetings or has parents who are zealous in the congregation does not of itself mean that this one is a good choice for a close friend.

“Even by his practices a boy [or girl] makes himself recognized as to whether his activity is pure and upright,” states Proverbs 20:11. Therefore, you are wise to consider: Is this person’s relationship with Jehovah clearly the focal point in his or her life? Or, instead, is there evidence of thinking and attitudes that reflect “the spirit of the world”? (1 Corinthians 2:12; Ephesians 2:2) Does being with him or her build your desire to worship Jehovah?


Good associates are a positive spiritual influence

If you choose friends who have a strong love for Jehovah and for spiritual matters, you will not only avoid problems but also find greater strength to serve God. Paul said to Timothy: “Pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call upon the Lord out of a clean heart.”—2 Timothy 2:22.
Friendship With the Opposite Sex

If you are of age and want to marry, have you given thought to how these same principles should affect your choice of a mate? Many factors can make you feel drawn to a prospective spouse, but none are as important as the person’s spiritual condition.

Thus, the Bible repeatedly warns against marriage to one who is not “in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39; Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Nehemiah 13:25) True, people who are not fellow believers may be responsible, decent, and caring. Yet, they do not have the motivation that you have to build on such qualities and to persevere in marriage as the years go by.

On the other hand, one who is dedicated to Jehovah and loyal to him deliberately cultivates Christian qualities and safeguards them, come what may. He or she appreciates that the Bible links loving one’s mate with having a good relationship with Jehovah. (Ephesians 5:28, 33; 1 Peter 3:7) Thus, when both mates love Jehovah, they have the strongest incentive to remain loyal to each other.

Does this mean that marriages among fellow believers are guaranteed to succeed? No. For instance, if you were to marry a person who has only marginal interest in spiritual things, what could happen? Unequipped to resist the pressures of this system, a spiritually weak person is more likely to drift away from the Christian congregation. (Philippians 3:18; 1 John 2:19) Imagine the heartache and marital strife you could face if your mate got caught up in “the defilements of the world.”—2 Peter 2:20.

Before developing a relationship that could lead to marriage, consider: Does this one give evidence of being a spiritual person? Does he or she set a fine example in Christian living? Is this person well rooted in Bible truth, or does he or she need more time for spiritual growth? Are you convinced that love for Jehovah is the primary force in his or her life? Knowing that the person has a fine reputation is helpful. However, in the final analysis, you must be convinced that the one in whom you are interested is devoted to Jehovah and will likely make a fine marriage partner.

Remember, too, that some who are attracted to the “wrong people” are first drawn to the wrong things—such as some form of inappropriate entertainment or activity. Exemplary youths in the Christian congregation would not share with you in such things. So examine your heart.

If you find that your heart needs discipline, do not feel hopeless. The heart can be disciplined. (Proverbs 23:12) It comes down to this: What do you want to want? Do you want to be drawn to what is good and to those who practice it? With Jehovah’s help, you can develop that kind of heart. (Psalm 97:10) And by training your perceptive powers to distinguish right from wrong, you will find it easier to determine who will make wholesome, upbuilding friends.

How Can I Deal With Sexual Harassment?

A FLIRTATIOUS stare, a "compliment" with sexual overtones, an obscene joke, an overtly sexual touch—such treatment, when unwelcome and repeated, often amounts to what can be called sexual harassment. Although global statistics are hard to come by, surveys indicate that most school-age youths in the United States have experienced it.

Just what is sexual harassment? The book Coping With Sexual Harassment and Gender Bias, by Dr. Victoria Shaw, defines it as "bothering someone in a sexual way . . . It can be physical (such as touching someone in a sexual way), verbal (such as making unwelcome comments about someone's appearance), or nonverbal." Sometimes the harassment involves crude propositions.

Much of the harassment in school probably comes from your peers. However, in some cases the offending behavior has come from adults, such as teachers. An article in Redbook magazine speculates that the relatively small number of teachers who are actually convicted for sexual offenses "probably represents only the tip of the iceberg."

Women—and sometimes men—were subject to such mistreatment even back in Bible times. (Genesis 39:7; Ruth 2:8, 9, 15) And the Bible made this grim prediction: "There will be difficult times in the last days. People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting . . . ; they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce." (2 Timothy 3:1-3, Today's English Version) So it is possible, even likely, that you will encounter sexual harassment yourself.

God's View

Admittedly, not all youths are distressed by sexually aggressive behavior. Some may find it amusing—or even flattering. One disturbing U.S. survey showed that among victims of sexual harassment, 75 percent admitted that they themselves had harassed others. Some adults may aggravate the problem by downplaying the seriousness of sexually aggressive behavior, brushing it off as just childish experimentation. But how does God view it?

God's Word, the Bible, clearly condemns all forms of sexual harassment. We are told not to "encroach upon the rights" of others by violating sexual boundaries. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8) In fact, young men are specifically commanded to treat "younger women as sisters with all chasteness." (1 Timothy 5:1, 2) Furthermore, the Bible condemns "obscene jesting." (Ephesians 5:3, 4) Therefore, you have a right to feel angry, upset, confused, and even demeaned when you are harassed!

What Do I Say?

	Letting your Christian beliefs become common knowledge can be a protection

How, then, should you react if someone bothers you in this way? Sometimes a weak or vague response only makes a harasser try harder. The Bible tells us that when Joseph was propositioned by his employer's wife, he did not simply ignore her. Instead, he firmly rejected her immoral advances. (Genesis 39:8, 9, 12) Today, being firm and direct is still the best way to fend off harassment.

True, the one bothering you might not mean to offend you. What looks like harassment may actually be an unpolished attempt to attract your attention. So do not feel that you have to resort to uncouth behavior yourself to halt an unwanted advance. Simply saying something like, 'I don't like that kind of talk' or, 'Keep your hands to yourself, please' may get your point across. However you word it, do not water down your message. Let your no mean no! Young Andrea puts it this way: "If they don't catch on to your kind hints, you have to tell them straight out. It often comes to that." A firm 'Cut it out!' may do the job.

If the situation escalates, do not try to handle things alone. Try talking it over with your parents or other mature adults. They may have some practical suggestions for dealing with the situation. As a last resort, they may even feel it necessary to alert school officials. As uncomfortable as doing so might make you, it could protect you from further victimization.

Preventing Harassment

Of course, it's best to avoid being victimized in the first place. What might help in this regard? Andrea advises: "Never give the impression that maybe you are kind of interested. Others will hear about it, and the pressure will continue." The way you dress can play a major role. Young Mara says: "I don't dress like a grandmother, but I do avoid clothes that attract attention to my body." Rejecting sexual advances while at the same time wearing provocative clothes may be sending a mixed message. The Bible recommends dressing "with modesty and soundness of mind."—1 Timothy 2:9.

By not associating with the wrong crowd, you may prevent harassment

Your choice of friends also affects how you are treated. (Proverbs 13:20) Rosilyn observes: "When some of the girls in a group like the attention from guys, the guys may assume that all the girls in the group feel the same way." Carla made the same point: "If you hang around with ones who give in to the remarks or who enjoy the attention, then you will get harassed too."

The Bible tells of a young girl named Dinah who associated with girls from Canaan—where women were known for their loose behavior. This led to her being sexually assaulted. (Genesis 34:1, 2) With good reason the Bible states: "Keep strict watch that how you walk is not as unwise but as wise persons." (Ephesians 5:15) Yes, being "strict" about how you dress, how you speak, and with whom you associate can do much to protect you from harassment.

For Christian youths, however, one of the most effective ways of fending off harassment is simply to let others know of your religious stand. Young Timon, one of Jehovah's Witnesses, recalls: "The kids knew that I was a Witness, so that stopped almost all the harassment." Andrea observes: "Telling them you are a Witness makes a big difference. They will realize that in many ways you are different from them and that you have strict moral standards."—Matthew 5:15, 16.

If You Are Harassed

Try as you may, you cannot entirely escape rude, abusive people. But if you are the victim of a harasser, there is no reason for you to pummel yourself with guilt—as long as you have behaved like a Christian. (1 Peter 3:16, 17) If the situation distresses you emotionally, find support by talking to your parents or to mature ones in the Christian congregation. Rosilyn admits that it's hard to feel good about yourself when you are being harassed. "Just having companionship," she says, "someone you can talk to, is very good." Remember, too, that "Jehovah is near to all those calling upon him."—Psalm 145:18, 19.

Taking a stand against mistreatment is not easy, but it is worth it. Consider, for example, the Bible account of a young woman from Shunem. Although she was not really harassed as the term is commonly understood today, she did receive unwanted advances from Solomon, the rich and powerful king of Judah. Because she was in love with another man, she resisted those advances. She could therefore say of herself with pride, "I am a wall."—Song of Solomon 8:4, 10.

Show the same moral fiber and determination yourself. Be a "wall" when it comes to unwanted advances. Make your Christian stand clear to everyone around you. By doing so, you can remain "blameless and innocent" and have the confidence that you have pleased God.

Do I Need a Mobile Phone?

"I feel very insecure and irritated if I don't have a mobile phone with me."—Akiko.* MOBILE phones are becoming ever more popular in many lands. They are convenient. Your friends and parents can contact you anytime, anywhere—and you them. Some models allow you to exchange short text messages, which "is the latest way for young people to feed their urge to communicate," says The Times of London. There are even mobile phones that can connect you to cyberspace, providing access to Web sites and E-mail.

You may already have one, or you may be planning to get one. In either case, you might consider the saying: "There are two sides to every coin." A mobile phone may well have some benefits. However, you may want to think about the other side of the coin, for even if you choose to buy one, being fully aware of its potential drawbacks will help you use it wisely. "Calculate the Expense" Jesus stated the wise principle that one should "calculate the expense" before undertaking an important project. (Luke 14:28) Can that principle be applied to mobile phones? Certainly.
Now you may be able to get the phone itself at very little cost, or it may even be free. However, as 17-year-old Henna discovered, "the bill can suddenly get very high." There can also be constant pressure to keep up with additional services and to buy more-expensive models. Thus, Hiroshi says: "I have a part-time job and save money to get a newer model every year." Many youths do the same.# Even if your parents agree to pay the bill for you, it is still important to understand the costs. A traveling Christian minister in Japan notes: "Some mothers are taking on extra part-time work just to pay for their children's mobile phone, which may not be necessary in the first place." You surely would not want to put such a burden on your parents! "A Time Killer" Many who start out using the phone moderately may find it taking up more of their time than they expected—and crowding out more important things.
Mika used to spend a lot of time with her family around the dinner table. "Now," she says, "after we have our meal we go back to our rooms with our own [mobile phones]." "A third of young adults aged between 16 and 20 prefer text messaging over all other means of written communication," says The Guardian of London. Text messaging may cost you less money than voice conversation, but it costs you more time to key in text messages. Mieko admits: "If someone sends 'good night,' I answer 'good night.' Then, messages start flying back and forth for an hour. It is just silly talk." Many mobile-phone users might be quite surprised if they were to stop and add up all the time they spend using their phone in one month. A 19-year-old girl, Teija, admits: "For many people, a mobile phone is a time killer rather than a time saver." Even if your circumstances justify owning one, it is important to be time conscious while using it.

A young Christian girl named Marja observes: "At Christian assemblies many young people keep sending trivial messages to others. It's very common!" Similar behavior has been observed among youths engaging in the Christian ministry. The Bible advises Christians to buy out time for spiritual activities. (Ephesians 5:16) How sad when such precious time is taken up by telephone conversation! Secret Communication Marie comments on another pitfall: "Since the calls come directly to the individual, not to the home, there is a danger of parents not being aware of whom their kids are talking to or even whether they are on the phone or not." Some youths thus use mobile phones to establish secret contact with those of the opposite sex. Some have dropped their guard, bypassing standards they would normally observe when communicating with others. How so? "Text messaging means that no one can monitor what [young people] are doing," says The Daily Telegraph of London.
Not seeing or hearing the other party can affect you. "Some feel that a text message is a more neutral way to communicate," observes Timo. "In a message some may write things that they would consider too bold to say face-to-face." When Keiko, a 17-year-old Christian girl, started using a mobile phone, she let many of her friends know her number.

Soon she started exchanging messages every day with a boy in her congregation. Keiko says: "At first we just talked about everyday things, but then we started sharing our troubles. We created our own little world by means of our mobile phones." Happily, she received help from her parents and the Christian elders before things got too serious. She now admits: "Even though before giving me a mobile phone, my parents had warned me so much about exchanging mail with the opposite sex, I mailed him every day. It wasn't the best way to use the phone."% The Bible admonishes us to "hold a good conscience." (1 Peter 3:16) Doing so means that when you use a mobile phone, you must make sure that, as Koichi says, "you have nothing to be ashamed of," even if someone else should see your messages or overhear you. Always remember that there are no secrets when it comes to our heavenly Father. The Bible explains: "There is not a creation that is not manifest to [God's] sight, but all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting." (Hebrews 4:13) Why, then, try to maintain a secret relationship?
Young woman talking on mobile phoneYoung man talking on mobile phone Some youths carry on secret relationships via the mobile phone Set Limits If you are considering getting a mobile phone, why not first evaluate your situation carefully to see if you really need one? Discuss the matter with your parents. Some feel as did young Jenna, who says: "A mobile phone is too big a responsibility for many young people." Even if you decide to own such a phone, it is important to keep it under control.
How? Set reasonable limits. For example, limit the number of features you use or the amount of time and money you spend on the phone. Since most phone companies provide a detailed report of your usage, you might want to analyze the bill with your parents from time to time. Some find it convenient to use a prepaid type of mobile phone to limit usage.
Also, give careful thought to when and how you respond to calls and messages. Make your own reasonable guidelines. Shinji explains: "I open my mailbox only once a day, and I usually reply to messages only when they are important. As a result, friends have stopped sending junk messages. If there is a really urgent problem, they will call me anyway." More important, be selective as to the people with whom you communicate. Be careful about giving out your phone number. Apply the same standards you always use regarding good association.—1 Corinthians 15:33.
The Bible says: "For everything there is an appointed time, . . . a time to keep quiet and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) Clearly, there are times for mobile phones "to keep quiet" too. Our Christian meetings and ministry are the "appointed time" for worshiping God, not for using the phone. Restaurant and theater managers often request that their clients refrain from using mobile phones.
We respectfully comply with such requests. Surely the Sovereign of the universe deserves no less respect! If they are not expecting a crucial call, many choose to turn off their phone, or they switch to a silent mode when engaging in essential activities. Some put their mobile phone out of reach. After all, cannot most messages be attended to later? If you decide to own a mobile phone, be determined to control it and not let it control you. Clearly, you need to stay alert and keep your priorities in order. The Bible encourages us: "Let your reasonableness become known to all men." (Philippians 4:5) If you decide to have a mobile phone, by all means resolve to show your reasonableness in the way you use it.