Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Most people expect marriage mates to be sexually faithful to each other. This view of marital fidelity agrees with the bible, which says: “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement.
Is refraining from sex with other partners the full extent of what it means to be faithful in a marriage? What about sexual fantasies involving someone other than your marriage mate? Could a close friendship with some one of the opposite sex become a form of infidelity?
How ask an individual ask yourself : Are sexual fantasies Harmless? The bible present sex as a natural and whole some part of married life, a source of mutual joy and satisfaction. But many experts believe that it is normal even healthy for a married person to fantasize about other sexual partners. Are such fantasies harmless as long as they are not acted upon? Sexual fantasies typically focus on personal gratification. Such self-centered behavior is contrary to the bible’s advice for married people. Regarding sexual relations God’s word says: “The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body , but his wife does. Following the bible’s counsel prevents sex from becoming a fantasy-fueled act of lust and selfishness. As a result, both marriage mates enjoy greater happiness.
Fantasies of sex outside of marriage involve mentally rehearsing actions that if carried out would cause great emotional pain to one’s mate. Will engaging in sexual fantasies increase the likelihood of committing adultery? The simple answer is yes. The bible illustrate the link between thoughts and actions: “Each one is tired by being drawn out and enticed by his own desire. Then the desire, when it has become fertile, gives birth to sin”-James 1: 14, 15.
Jesus said: “Everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. This statement apply to both male and female, If a woman look at a man so has to have affection for him has already committed fornication in her heart. So by refusing to dwell on adulterous fantasies, you will safe guard your heart and protect your relationship.
Why do you have to be emotionally faithful? A successful marriage requires giving exclusive devotion to your mate. What does this mean? While it is normal to have friends of both sexes outside marriage, your marriage mate has first claim on your time, attention, and emotional energy. Any relationship that takes what is right belongs to your mate and gives it to someone else is forms of “infidelity” even if no sexual activity is involved, also I want you to note some thing, and that is sexual relationship outside the marriage constitute grounds for scriptural divorce.
How could such a relationship develop? Someone of the opposite sex may seems more attractive or empathetic than your spouse. Spending time with that one in the workplace or in a social setting can lead to discussing personal matters, including problems or disappointments in your marriage. An emotional dependency can grow. Communication in person, by telephone, or through online chat could become a betrayal of trust. Marriage mats properly expect that certain topics will be discussed only with each other and that their confidential talk will be kept private.
Beware of rationalizing that no romantic feeling exist when in fact they may!!! The heart is treacherous, says Jeremiah 17: 9. If you have a close friendship with some one of the opposite sex as yourself: ‘Am I defensive or secretive about the relationship? Would I be comfortable if my mate overheard our conversations? How would I feel if my mate cultivated a similar friendship? Always remember an improper relationship can lead to a marital disaster, since emotional closeness paves way for eventual sexual intimacy. As Jesus warns” out of the heart come adulteries. However, even if adultery does not result, the damage caused by loss of trust can be extremely difficult to repair. A wife named Joy said: When I discovered that Matthew( her husband) was secretly talking on the phone several times a day with another woman, my heart was broken. It is very hard to believe that they were not involve sexually. I am not sure that I will ever trust him.
Keep friendships with members of the opposite sex within appropriate boundaries. Do not ignore the presence of improper feelings or rationalize impure motives. If you sense that a relationship threatens your marriage, act quickly to limit or end it. The bible said: “Shrewd is the one that proceed to see calamity and conceal himself.”-proverbs 22: 3.
Our creator intended that marriage should be the closest relationship two humans. He said that husband and wife must become on flesh. THE FLESH BOND INVOVLES MORE THAN SEXUAL INTIMACY. It includes a close emotional bond, which is strengthened by unselfishness, trust, and mutual respect. Applying these principles will help to protect your marriage from damage caused by mental and emotional unfaithfulness.

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