Saturday, January 31, 2009

1. The Eyes
Often cited as the windows to the soul, the eyes were given as the number one feature you notice first! How do you improve it? If you're a woman, get out the books and fashion magazines and research some tips on making your eyes sparkle. If you're a guy, or if you are not big on make up, try these tips that always makes the eyes look great:

  • Get enough sleep. Red around the eyes is not very attractive.

  • Get your eyebrows shaped. The eyebrows are often over-looked, but if shaped properly can add a whole new dimension to your eyes.

  • Look directly at the person you are talking with. It shows your confident, and that you interested in them as person.

2. Your Smile
You can tell how open and loving a person is by their smile. And, if that special someone's curved, gorgeous lips are directed towards you... watch out! Improving this is as easy as taking care of your lips. Keep them out of the sun, or protected, and be real when you smile. Remember the instant turn off, a fake smile.

3. The Face
The attraction to the face is fairly self-explanatory. If that special someone doesn't like looking at it, then you're going to have problems! To keep your face looking great, keep it clean and protected from the sun. Find some products that work best for you and USE them!

4. Your Personality
Your personality is something that can't quite be changed unless you want it to be. So be comfortable with who you are, and the people who are around will be comfortable with you to!

5. Your Hair
There is something about running your fingers through silken locks of hair than can drive both men and woman alike crazy. If you don't feel confident about your hair, take a trip to the salon and find a style you really like. This is one area where it may be worth the extra money to get something really great!

6. Your Figure
The only thing that can help you here is good old fashion exercise and healthy eating. Or, a great self-image! :) Don't be fooled into thinking you have to have "the perfect body" either! Being confident about who you are is more than enough for someone who's worth having!

7. Your Posture
Someone who slouches, or walks with their head down is easy to associate with laziness or lack of ambition. Therefore, your posture is incredibly important when it comes to first impressions. To improve your posture, try stretching daily and/or a visit to your chiropractor.

8. Your Mouth
Your mouth is an easy target for desirability. Soft, full lips just beg to be kissed. Keep your lips in top shape by following the advice for your smile!

9. Your Clothes
Your clothes, are like a window to your personality. The care and the time you take (or lack of) on selecting your clothes lets other people know what you are like. Depending on what you wear, they also help you attract certain types of people.

10. Your Hands
There is something about hands that seem to attract many people. Maybe it's the thought of being protected, or sharing an intimate moment with another person. Whatever the passion, you can keep your hands looking great by keeping your nails well groomed and clean, and protecting your skin with lotion and/or sun screen.

A Lone Parent, but Not Alone

Sunday, January 25, 2009

"When my children come home and give me a hug and tell me that they love me, that's the best part of being a mother."—Maria, A SINGLE MOTHER OF TWO.

SINGLE parents can find reassurance in the Bible statement: "Children are a blessing and a gift from the LORD." (Psalm 127:3, Contemporary English Version) When children are raised in a single-parent family, they are no less precious in God's eyes. Our Creator desires to see single-parent families succeed. The Bible says of him: "The fatherless boy and the widow he relieves." (Psalm 146:9) Single parents can be certain that God is ready to support them.

A child is entitled to be raised in a loving, safe, and secure environment that will allow him to develop physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is each parent's duty and privilege to be used by God to train a child.

Many single parents have found that success requires diligent prayer, consistent application of Bible principles, and complete reliance on Jehovah. This is in line with the exhortation found at Psalm 55:22: "Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you."

From time to time, grandparents, local elders, and experienced parents in the Christian congregation may be available to assist a single-parent family to manage trying situations. True, family members and fellow worshipers can offer much to support the efforts of single parents, but the ultimate God-given responsibility rests with a child's parents.*

Happily, many single parents have managed successfully to handle the unique challenges of their situation and raise responsible, well-behaved, God-fearing children. Awake! spoke with a number of them. Here are some of the things such parents have in common.

* Sound home management. Successful single parents strive to be well organized and work hard to coordinate schedules. Proper planning and organization are essential. The Bible says: "The plans of the diligent one surely make for advantage."—Proverbs 21:5.
* Commitment. Successful single parents make family life one of their first priorities. They focus on putting the needs of their children ahead of their own.—1 Timothy 5:8.
* A balanced approach. Successful single parents neither minimize nor exaggerate problems; they seek solutions. They accept the difficulties and try to cope with them without self-pity or bitterness.
* Good communication. Successful single parents foster communication. They encourage clear and open expression of thoughts and feelings in the family. Says a single father about his children: "I talk to them at every opportunity. We have ‘cozy moments' when we prepare dinner. It is then that they really confide in me."
* Caring for oneself. Despite the demands on their time, successful single parents recognize that caring for their own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs is important. Ethel, a divorced single mother of two, explained: "I try to save some time for myself. For example, when a friend gives the children music lessons, that gives me an hour to myself. I sit down and leave the TV off."
* A positive attitude. Successful single parents maintain a positive outlook toward parenting and life in general. They see positive aspects in stressful situations. One single mother states: "I've come to realize that being a single parent is not all negative."

Gloria with her children

Family Bible study has helped Gloria's three children to become full-time Christian ministers. Here they look at a letter from and a photo of the oldest son, now serving as a missionary

Success Stories

Are these principles effective? Yes, as can be seen from numerous success stories of single parents. Gloria, a divorced, single working mother in England, who was mentioned in the first article, raised two sons and a daughter. All three of them grew up to become full-time Christian ministers, devoting their lives to promoting Bible education. When asked how she managed, Gloria explained: "The first challenge was to keep up a regular, interesting family Bible study. I wanted the children to be happy, to have peace of mind, to be content, and to be protected from pitfalls. I found a job working nights. My aim was to have the children with me whenever I could. Before I went to work, we had a family prayer and I put them to bed. My aunt stayed in the house while I was at work."

How did Gloria help her children set the right priorities? She continues: "My greatest aim was to put spiritual things first. We didn't have much money, and I was very open about this with the children. Whatever I asked them to do, I would do myself, and they were all cooperative." Reminiscing about how she kept a close-knit family, Gloria says: "The secret was doing things together. Nobody went off to his or her own room. We cooked, cleaned, decorated together. We balanced our activities. I always made sure there was recreation too."
Carolyn and her son, Joseph

Carolyn and her son, Joseph

Carolyn, a single mother of a young boy named Joseph, is pleased with the way he is growing up. What is her secret? "We read the Bible together at bedtime," she says, "and then I ask him questions about what he has learned. Additionally, we consider selected paragraphs from Bible-based publications and apply them personally. This helps Joseph when he faces problems, such as bullying at school." Carolyn admits that her life is by no means easy, but she does not feel that she is alone. She observes: "It is a constant struggle, but I feel that Jehovah has really helped me. I also receive a lot of encouragement from the Christian congregation."

The success stories of thousands of single parents, such as Gloria and Carolyn, prove that parents today can rely on the time-tested principles of the Bible to raise fine, spiritually strong children. (Proverbs 22:6) Success is possible! Single parenting provides many challenges that are opportunities for growth and sharing. Relying fully on God and being convinced that he will provide help is the best way to cope with the demands of single parenthood.—Psalm 121:1-3.


SINGLE-PARENT families have become a permanent and noticeable feature in many societies today.* As the traditional structure of husband, wife, and children gives way to other forms of family life, demographers and sociologists in many parts of the world are asking why.

Sociology professors Simon Duncan and Rosalind Edwards note that "long-term changes are taking place in family patterns and gender relations." Why? Some observers state that this is the result of people's choices about how they live their lives, within a context of economic, cultural, and social change.

Let us consider some of these changes, as well as the choices being made. Pressures of life are a major factor affecting people's lives. The outside world intrudes on their every waking hour. Time formerly spent on family activities is now spent on the Internet, in front of the TV, on the phone, in the car, on the run.

Economic pressures also take a toll. Modern conveniences come at a cost, so more parents are working. Being part of a mobile society has led many family members to live and work far away from the support system of their extended family and in some cases even far away from their spouse. In many lands popular culture is not helping either, as it often focuses on tearing down institutions that provide a sense of stability, such as marriage and family.#
The New Single Mother

Today's single mother does not necessarily fit the old stereotype of an unwed teen living on welfare. Unwed motherhood has lost much of its stigma and has even been glamorized by celebrity role models. In addition, many women are better educated and better able to support themselves—so marriage is no longer a financial prerequisite to motherhood.
Some Definitions

Various terms are used around the world to describe mothers who raise children alone. In some countries "single mother" is used to refer to never-married mothers, while in other lands "lone mother" is a term that encompasses a whole range of mothers who are bringing up children without a male partner in their household. Such mothers may be divorced, separated, or widowed, or they may never have been married.

In this series of articles, we use the terms "single parent" and "single mother" to refer to parents raising children without a spouse.

Some single mothers, especially adult children of divorced parents, remain single because they do not want to make their offspring suffer the pain of watching a parent leave. Other women become single mothers as a result of abandonment, not by choice. "Lone parenthood is not generally a selfish and wilful choice," states the Joseph Rowntree Foundation of Britain, "and children in lone-parent families are not neglected and undisciplined."

Still, the prevalence of single-parent families is a matter of concern because single parents and their children may suffer emotional stress, economic need, and social disadvantages. Some people may wonder if it is possible for one parent to raise children successfully. What are some of the special challenges facing single-parent families? How can a Christian successfully meet the challenge of raising children as a single parent?

* Sociologists point out that the number of single mothers 'overwhelmingly outweighs the number of single fathers.' Hence, these articles deal primarily with single mothers. However, the principles discussed apply equally to single fathers.

# For a detailed discussion of the general challenges of motherhood, see "Motherhood—Does It Take a Superwoman?" in the April 8, 2002, issue of Awake!


United States: "The number of single mothers increased between 1970 and 2000, from 3 million to 10 million; over the same time frame, the number of single fathers increased also, from 393,000 to 2 million."—U.S. Census Bureau.

Mexico: According to the newspaper La Jornada, teenage mothers account for about 27 percent of the total number of pregnancies in the country.

Ireland: The rate of single-parent households increased from 5.7 percent in 1981 to 7.9 percent in 1991. "Marital breakdown remains a very important route into single motherhood."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.

France: "Since the late 1970s, the proportion of single-parent families has increased by more than 50 per cent."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.

Greece: "Since 1980, the number of unwed mothers in [Greece] has increased by 29.8 percent. And according to data provided by the European Union, in 1997 the percentage of children born out of wedlock was 3.3 percent, while in 1980 it was only 1.1 percent."—Ta Nea newspaper, Athens, September 4, 1998.

Britain: "The proportion of families headed by a single parent has topped 25 per cent for the first time, reflecting a huge growth in the number of never-married mothers and a significant rise in the divorce rate over the past 30 years."—The Times, London, March 2, 2000.

Germany: "The number of single parents has doubled in the past two decades. Nearly all single-parent families . . . are headed by the mother."—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997.

Japan: 'Lone-mother families have been on the increase since the 1970's.' In 1997, 17 percent of all households were headed by single mothers.—Single Mothers in an International Context, 1997; The World's Women 2000: Trends and Statistics.

Australia: Nearly 1 in 4 children live with only one of their biological parents. This is usually the result of a breakdown in the parents' marriage or relationship. It has been projected that one-parent families will increase between 30 percent and 66 percent over a 25-year period.—Australian Bureau of Statistics.


Saturday, January 17, 2009

Just the words, break up, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.

#1 - Specific Reasons
Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.

#2 - Where To Do It
If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.

#3 - How To Do It
While following guideline #1 is important, you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.

#4 - After The Break Up
Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.

Your other option is to try a sliding scale approach. Agree to only call or see each other once or twice a week, and slowly narrow it down from there. Agree not to talk about certain things like wishing you were back together, or whether you are seeing anyone new, etc.

If you must remain in contact with them because of school, work or family it is important to remain mature about the situation. Don't run out and date everyone. Allow your partner some breathing room and time to digest their newly found situation. Also, avoid gossiping about what went wrong. It just makes everything ugly.

#5 - Trial Separation
If you are unsure about wanting a permanent break up, try a trial one instead. To signify your commitment to trying to work things out, arrange an agreed upon dating schedule with your partner, maybe once a week. Arrange for the exact dates and times when you are asking for the separation!
Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be."


There are few things in life that are harder on a person than the time when they realize that the love they have worked so hard at, and spent so much time on, is finally over. For some, this realization is a complete shock and for others, they have seen the writing on the wall for some time now.

Breakup signs are often very difficult to spot, primarily because the people involved often do not want to admit that the relationship has failed. And unless something comes along and hits them in the face, telling them it's over; the natural tendency is to try to work through the problems. This happens more so when the couple have been together for a while.

The question that remains, therefore, is at what point do you really know that it's over?

First lets start with the glaring signs that the relationship is over:

1. You catch your partner in the act of having an unforgivable affair.

2. Your partner uses physical violence against you.

3. You argue non-stop about everything. You can't agree on anything.

The above are obvious, any of the three things occurring above, ESPECIALLY NUMBER TWO, are sure signs that the relationship is coming to an, often abrupt, end.

There are however some other signs to look out for. Sometimes it is necessary to accept the painful fact that the relationship you are in is just not good for you. While I am usually the staunchest advocate for the "you can make it through anything as long as you have love" club, even I have to admit that there are situations where one or both of the partners are just better off apart.

The most common instance of this is when one partner is INTENTIALLY holding the other partner back. When two people have separate dreams and goals, friction can occur, especially if neither of them are willing to compromise. In some instances, however, jealousy leads one of the partner's to be excessively controlling of the other. In these situations, if they are UNRESOLVABLE, it is better to leave than stay.

Other reasons to leave include:

1. You realize that you don't love your partner.

2. You find yourself thinking more and more about how good single life was.

3. You realize that your partner doesn't love you, but is with you because they don't want to hurt you.

4. You have no common interests or goals.

5. You find that you cannot stand their annoying little habits, and they won't change.

6. You find it impossible to be yourself around your partner.

7. Your partner cuts you down, makes you feel bad about yourself, and constantly devalues your goals and ideas.

Under no circumstances should anyone stay in a relationship that is bad for them, just because they feel that being in a relationship, even a bad one, is better than being alone.

Ways To Feel More Confident To Date

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Some people are so shy when it comes to dating anyone, or even taking the initiative to start a new relationship.
Okay, so the idea of approaching someone for a date absolutely terrifies you. Or, maybe you're so nervous about revealing too much about yourself that you can't get past anything other than, "Do you come here often?" If this rings true, then it's time to conquer that inner voice inside of you and become the dating guru you know you were meant to be.

First, you need to realize that you're not alone. Your fears are the same fears just about everyone else in the room also has. One person may be worrying about their weight, the other about their height. Everyone has his or her insecurities. Once you truly realize this, the playing field becomes much easier to approach. The next time you're out in a public situation, try to figure out each person's hidden insecurity. If you watch closely you'll begin to read more about people than just their insecurities.

You're more in control of how people view you than you think. Take a good look in the mirror. What do you see? How is your posture? Your smile? Your clothing? Could you use a mini-makeover? Taking time for personal enhancement is a very self-rewarding gesture. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "If you look good, you feel good." Guess what? It's true! Make it a point to consciously think about the way you are standing, if you are smiling and the effort you've put into your appearance. Pretty soon it will become natural way of thinking.

Actions can drown out your nagging voice of self-doubt. When was the last time you did something that terrified you? Shake things up a bit. Try something new at least once a week. The more you're able to successfully navigate the world around you the more your self-confidence will increase. In addition, if you're busy doing things and being a part of the world around you'll have less time to worry about self-doubt.

Are you prepared? You can quickly lose self-confidence and end up trying to anticipate defensive maneuvers by being caught unprepared for certain situations. Be on the offense instead. Lose that nagging voice inside and go ahead and try your hand at small talk. It may feel very uncomfortable at first, but hey, riding a bike the first time wasn't a piece of cake either!

So take the initial approach and take to her the way you heart feel for him or her, then you will gain her heart, Just make sure you dress well, because I want you to always have in mine that the way you dress is the way any one will address you, Always try to dress well. I bet you you will win her heart.
If you have any thing to say about these, either contribution nor suggesstion please do not hesitant to do that.

How you can Build your Self-Esteem to Date any One

Is self-esteem a crucial ingredient for a happy, healthy long-term relationship? To answer simply, yes! For a more in-depth reason as to why, let's take look at what self-esteem actually means.

Self-esteem is a feeling of pride in yourself. It is feeling worthy of your own AND another's respect. In a relationship, no other trait has more value concerning the way we perceive each other's actions. If your sense of self-esteem is off, you are more prone to see things incorrectly and judgmentally. If you're always worried that people will see you for the worthless thing you feel you are, then chances are your perspectives on situations will slant towards the negative.

People who are truly comfortable with themselves are naturally going to be comfortable with other people. It doesn't stop there. A healthy dose of self-esteem does more than just make you feel good. It makes you an actual, equal partner in a relationship. Therefore, if you've been grappling with issues of insecurity and self-doubt you will find the following six golden rules to a healthy self-esteem of immense value to you. Read through these ideals and discover ways you can integrate them into your life. They may be just the right amount of insight for you to finally find the happiness you deserve.

#1: Only Make Commitments You Know You Can Meet
One only has to become burdened down with overwhelming, hopeless tasks to understand this principle fully. Do not agree to do more than you are capable of. Doing so just makes everything you attempt feel like a failure. Soon or later, those feelings are going to start making you doubt yourself. To correct this path of self-doubt, first finish everything you've started. Then, take a look at new projects you'd like to tackle…one-at-a-time. If taking on too much is a problem area for you, try using this system. Most people can expect to do two undertakings extremely well. When you start adding on a third, a fourth or even more, each activity or undertaking suffers to the degree you are overburdened. A perfect example of this is the person who is attending college and working full-time. If they choose to do extremely well in both of these endeavors, you will usually find their social, family or other life areas lacking.

#2: Let Your Creativity Rule
The only way to know how well you do something is to actually do it. Creativity plays a large part in the level of self-esteem we each contain. If you allow your creativity to direct you to new experiences without invalidating it, you may discover a new and more resourceful you. Creativity also plays a practical role, in addition to its naturally whimsical nature. For instance, instead of focusing on the problems of your life, learn to trust your instincts and your creative attributes to find the perfect solutions. To fully develop this characteristic, take one creative idea a week and actually do it. It could be anything from a desire to learn a new hobby or to finding a simple way of doing an old task. Just make sure you do something!

#3: Look At The Bright Side of Things
It is extremely difficult to find respect in others or ourselves if we continually focus on the negative things that are happening around us. No matter where we are, or what is going on around us there will always be unpleasantness in our world. Dwelling on it isn't going to make those things disappear. No one is asking for you to live your life with blinders on, but rather to realize that true living is actually living moment-to-moment. It shouldn't be spent focusing on how things may hurt us, or who's done what to us, or even why things have happened. The only occurrence you can hope to achieve by this is a life that has fallen short of your expectations. Instead, take time to notice one positive aspect about everything that happens in your life. If you can learn to trust in yourself fully, you will realize that circumstances enter your life for a reason. Maybe, you need to learn a valuable lesson or you are being steered away from something that would have been harmful for you. Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking.

#4: Be Honest With Yourself And Others
The quickest way to losing your self-esteem is through dishonesty. How can you ever hope to feel confident in yourself if you are always worried about what someone may find out? Being dishonest, even holding back a truth, opens the door to nagging self-doubt and insecurities. Do yourself a huge favor AND save a lot of needless worrying by just staying true to yourself and others.

#5: Acknowledge Yourself
I feel a rather large and undeserved amount of time is spent on getting other people to acknowledge us. While a "Hey, you did great!" feels wonderful, we shouldn't get in the habit of expecting it from people. No one needs someone else to tell him or her that what they've done is valid or true. Deep down we all know if it is. Whatever you do, learn to feel confident and trusting about your own abilities, without the opinion of a third party.

#6: Never Devalue Yourself
If you want people to learn to respect you and your wishes, you have to learn to respect yourself first. If you are being asked to do something, or you'd like to try something new, don't belittle yourself to the point of not attempting it. How do you know if you'll have talent in an area or not? Every time you think something negative about yourself, outweigh it with a more positive self-thought.

Thoughts To Ponder:
"He who sets a very high value upon himself has the less need to be esteemed by others." -Samuel Butler

"Tackling a job that seems worth doing, and doing it in a competent manner, is…the best way for a person to gain self-esteem." -John Holt

"Self-control and self-esteem vary directly: The more self-esteem a person has, the greater, as a rule, is his desire, and his ability, to control himself. The desire to control others and self-esteem vary inversely: the less self-esteem a person has, the greater, as a rule, is his desire and his ability, to control others." -Thomas S. Szasz

HOMEWORK: Gaining self-esteem is often found by gaining a thorough knowledge of one's self. This week make learning more about your habits, your abilities and your thought processes a priority. On a piece of paper make three columns. In one column, write down everything that you can do extremely well. In the other column, list the things you feel you are average at. In the third column, write down the things you feel you are really terrible at. Choose one thing from each column to devote more time to. When you feel you have adequately tackled these endeavors to the best of your ability, chose another set of things to do, and so on. In addition to this, keep a "feelings journal." Use it to record your feelings about certain occurrences that have happened, and to log how you're feeling each day. After a while, go back and read through it to see what things happened on the days you were happiest and the days you weren't. Keeping this type of journal is an excellent way of discovering patterns of behavior we weren't aware of doing.


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Many have been wondering what really makes a great partner, that is why I am telling you now to lookout for these qualities in any one that you think you want to date, The followings are what makes up a great partner:-

1. Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
2. Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
3. Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
4. Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
5. Someone who is caring .
6. Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
7. Someone who is interested in reality and not as a fashion display.
8. Someone who is honest.
9. Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
10. Someone who is open and responsive.
11. Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
12. Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
13. Someone who understands listening is a key, but using what is heard is even more important.
14. Someone who's there for you no matter what.
15. Someone who is trustful.
16. Someone who is a friend.
17. Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
18. Someone with a great sense of humor.
19. Someone who has things in common with you.
20. Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are and tries not to make you something else.
21. Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind to accept and love people for who the really are.
22. Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument and love you for everything that you are.
23. Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
24. Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
25. Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself, but admire greatly in them.
26. Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
27. Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
28. Someone who understands the difference between PMS, and a real problem.
29. Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
30. Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
31. Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
32. Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
33. Someone that you can laugh with.
34. Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
35. Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
36. Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
37. Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!
38. Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
39. Someone who will respect you.
40. Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
41. Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
42. Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.


So often when there is something we decide we want, we spend all of our focus and energy on the flow of getting it. Unfortunately, what we don't realize is that with an attentive eye focused on ourselves we will find the answer to our quest. If you've ever wondered why you may be finding it difficult to find your perfect match, it may be time to analyze what it is you are offering. The following questions are aimed at helping you discover your date ability.

Are you happy?
People pick up on unconscious thoughts. If you're not happy, it is pretty safe to say you are permeating the air with your negativity. Find out what would really make you happy, and do it! Positive people are people magnets. Find yourself and you may also find the other half you are looking for.

Do you say "my ex" more than 5 times a day?
What's done is done. If you want a potential partner to remain interested, don't give off signs that you're still emotionally committed. Allow yourself the freedom to be free. Sometimes it is easier to cling to the past than to face what is right in front of you. Don't let thoughts of an ex hold you back from enjoying your future.

Are you financially stable?
While this is not an end-all criterion, it does reflect how independent, stable or ambitious you are. If you're not in a comfortable financial place now, make a change. Do some research on getting out of debt, or ways to increase your monetary flow. You'll feel happier, and be a better catch, even if all you have is a plan of action that you are carrying out.

Do you have future goals, dreams or desires?
A dream is an aspiration for something greater than you have now. It could mean improving yourself, visiting a foreign land, or even owning a rare collector's piece. Whatever your dreams and goals are to you, it is important to have them, and have plans to achieve them. A person who is trying to achieve a goal or dream is showing that they are willing to grow as a person. It can also show your ability to make something happen for yourself and possibly for a potential partner.

What are you doing for you?
If you aren't engaged in any hobbies, self-improvement or other interests you may be giving signals that you will be overly dependent on a potential partner. Furthermore, having independent interests will help you keep your personal identity in a relationship, which at times can feel like a thing of the past.

Do you know what went wrong in your past relationship(s)?
The first step to overcoming a problem is to realize there is one. If you haven't already, take an objective look at your past relationships and find out how you contributed to their demise.

Do you know what you want in a new partner?
If you haven't taken the time to narrow this down, this could very likely be the reason you are without. When creating your list, be sure to include things you do not want as well. Mark off which things are red flags and which things you can live with. If you find an interest entering a red flag zone, do yourself a favor and look for someone else.

Pondering on these questions and answering them accurately from you Heart will help you know if you are dateable.

How you can Avoid - Homosexuality?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

“When I was 12, I was attracted to a girl at school. I was confused and worried that I might be a lesbian.”—Binta

“During my teens I struggled with an attraction to other males. Deep down, I knew those thoughts weren’t normal.”—Olef.

“My girlfriend and I kissed once or twice. Since I still liked boys, I wondered if I might be bisexual.”—Sarah.

TODAY’S tolerant attitudes have prompted a number of youths to experiment with same-sex relationships. “Many girls in my school claim to be either lesbian, bisexual, or ‘bi-curious,’” says 15-year-old Becky. Christa, 18, finds the situation similar at her school. “Two classmates have actually propositioned me,” she says. “One wrote me a note asking if I wanted to see what it was like to be with a girl.”

With same-sex relationships being flaunted so openly, you may wonder: ‘Is homosexuality really bad? What if I’m attracted to someone of my sex? Does that mean I’m gay?’
How Does God View Homosexuality?

Today, many people—even some clergymen—soft-pedal the issue of homosexuality. Yet, the Bible leaves no room for confusion. It tells us that Jehovah God made man and woman and that he purposed for sexual desires to be fulfilled only between husband and wife. (Genesis 1:27, 28; 2:24) It comes as no surprise, then, that the Bible condemns homosexual acts.—Romans 1:26, 27.

Of course, many would say that the Bible is out-of-date. For example, 14-year-old Megan asserts, “Some of the things stated in the Bible have no place in today’s world.” But why are some so quick to make that claim? Often, it is because the Bible’s view conflicts with their own. They reject God’s Word because it teaches something different from what they want to believe. That view is biased, though, and the Bible encourages us to rise above such closed-minded thinking! In fact, in his Word, Jehovah God urges us to consider the fact that his commandments are for our good. (Isaiah 48:17, 18) That is reasonable. After all, who knows our human makeup better than our Creator?

As a young person, you may be experiencing a variety of emotions. What if you feel attracted to a member of the same sex? Does this automatically mean that you are a homosexual? No. Remember, you are in “the bloom of youth,” a period in which you are subject to involuntary sexual arousal. (1 Corinthians 7:36) For a time, your attention may focus on a member of the same sex. But having such an attraction does not mean that you are gay. In fact, statistics indicate that such inclinations usually fade in time. Still, you might wonder, ‘How do these desires start in the first place?’

Some say that homosexuality is rooted in the genes. Others say it is a learned behavior. It is not the purpose of this article to delve into the “nature-versus-nurture” debate. Indeed, it seems that it would be a gross oversimplification to attribute homosexuality to a single cause. Homosexuality—much like other forms of behavior—appears to be far more complex than that.

Regardless of the cause, the important thing to realize is that the Bible condemns homosexual acts. Thus, the person who is struggling with same-sex desires is presented with a reachable goal—he or she can choose not to act on those desires. To illustrate: A person might be “disposed to rage.” (Proverbs 29:22) In the past he may have freely given in to fits of anger. After studying the Bible, though, he becomes aware of the need to develop self-control. Does this mean that he will never again feel anger welling up inside him? No. However, because he knows what the Bible says about uncontrolled anger, he refuses to succumb to his feelings. It is similar with a person who has felt attracted to others of the same sex but who has now come to learn what the Bible says about homosexual practices. On occasion, an improper desire may still present itself. Nevertheless, by heeding the counsel of the Bible, the person can refrain from acting on that desire.

Granted, same-sex desires may be strongly entrenched. Be assured, though, that even deeply rooted wrong desires are not insurmountable. (1 Corinthians 9:27; Ephesians 4:22-24) Ultimately, you are in control of how you will live. (Matthew 7:13, 14; Romans 12:1, 2) And despite claims to the contrary, you can learn to control your impulses—or at least refrain from acting on them.
Reject Wrong Practices

How can you keep from getting involved in homosexual practices?

* First Throw all your anxieties upon Jehovah in prayer, confident that “he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22) Jehovah can fortify you with a peace that “excels all thought.” This can ‘guard your heart and your mental powers’ and give you “power beyond what is normal” to keep from acting on wrong desires. (Philippians 4:7; 2 Corinthians 4:7) Sarah, who struggled with the fear that she might be bisexual, says: “Whenever my thoughts disturb me, I pray; and Jehovah sustains me. Without his help I couldn’t have dealt with this problem. Prayer is my lifeline!”—Psalm 94:18, 19; Ephesians 3:20.
* Second Fill your mind with upbuilding spiritual thoughts. (Philippians 4:8) Read the Bible daily. Never underestimate its power to shape your mind and heart for good. (Hebrews 4:12) A young man named Jason says: “The Bible—including scriptures such as 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 and Ephesians 5:3—has had a powerful effect on me. I read these scriptures whenever wrong desires occur.”
* Third Shun pornography and gay propaganda, which will only fuel wrong thoughts.# (Psalm 119:37; Colossians 3:5, 6) Some motion pictures and television programs also foster the belief that homosexuality is nothing more than a so-called alternative lifestyle. “The world’s warped thinking affected my mind and added to my sexual confusion,” says Anna. “Now I steer clear of anything or anyone that promotes homosexuality.”—Proverbs 13:20.
A teenage girl confiding in a Christian adult

Seek the support of a mature Christian adult

* Fourth Seek out a confidant, and talk to him or her about your thoughts. (Proverbs 23:26; 31:26; 2 Timothy 1:1, 2; 3:10) Olef, who sought the help of a Christian elder, recalls: “His counsel was very effective. I wished I had spoken to him a lot earlier.”

Do Not Give Up!

Of course, some would say that there’s no point in doing all this, that you should simply embrace your sexuality and accept what you are. But the Bible says that you can do better than that! It tells us, for example, that some early Christians who had formerly practiced homosexuality changed. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) You too can win the battle—even if at this point it is only being waged in your heart.

If your desires persist, do not give up or conclude that you are a lost cause. (Hebrews 12:12, 13) All of us battle wrong inclinations at times. (Romans 3:23; 7:21-23) If you refuse to act on wrong desires, in time they may subside. (Colossians 3:5-8) Above all, lean on Jehovah for help. He loves you and knows what will make you happy. (Isaiah 41:10) Yes, “trust in Jehovah and do good . . . , and he will give you the requests of your heart.”—Psalm 37:3, 4.

* Names in this article have been changed.

# “Metrosexuality”—a lifestyle in which men give excessive attention to themselves and particularly their appearance—has done much to blur the line between gay and straight. According to the man who reportedly coined the term, the metrosexual “might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference.” The popularity of the term, says one encyclopedia, “followed the increasing integration of gay men into mainstream society and a correspondingly decreased taboo towards homosexuality and changing masculinity.”

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