“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”—Colossians 3:21, The Holy Bible—New International Version.
HOW can a father avoid making his children feel bitter? It is vital that he recognize the importance of his role as a father. “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children,” says one journal on mental health.
What is the role of a father? In many families the father is seen primarily as the one who dispenses discipline. Many a mother has told a misbehaving child, ‘Just wait till your father gets home!’ To be sure, children need balanced discipline and a measure of firmness if they are to become well-adjusted adults. More, though, is involved in being a good father.
Sadly, not every father had a good example to help him. Some men were raised without a father in the home. But in other cases, men who were brought up by a rigid, austere father may tend to treat their children the same way. How can such a father break that mold and improve his parenting skills?
There is a source of practical and trustworthy advice on how to be a good father. The Bible contains the best advice on family life. Its counsel is not mere theory; nor does its guidance ever work to our harm. The Bible’s counsel reflects the wisdom of its Author, Jehovah God, who is the Originator of family life. (Ephesians 3:14, 15) If you are a father, you would do well to consider what the Bible has to say about parenting. Although the Scriptural counsel considered in this article focuses primarily on the father’s role, many of the principles are applicable to mothers as well.
Being a good father is important not only for the physical and emotional welfare of your children but also for their spiritual well-being. A child who has a very loving and close relationship with his father may even find it easier to develop a close and intimate relationship with God. After all, the Bible shows that, in a sense, Jehovah, our Creator, is a Father to us. (Isaiah 64:8) Let us now consider six things that children need from their father. In each case, we will examine how applying Bible principles can help a father to fill those needs.
1 Children Need Their Father’s Love
Jehovah sets the perfect example as a Father. Describing how God feels about Jesus, his firstborn Son, the Bible says: “The Father loves the Son.” (John 3:35; Colossians 1:15) On more than one occasion, Jehovah expressed love for his Son and approval of him. When Jesus was baptized, Jehovah spoke from the heavens, saying: “You are my Son, the beloved; I have approved you.” (Luke 3:22) Jesus never doubted his Father’s love for him. What can a human father learn from God’s example?
Never be reluctant to tell your children that you love them. Kelvin, a father of five, says: “I have always tried to express my love for my children not only by telling them that I love them but also by showing a personal interest in each one of them. I shared in changing their diapers and in bathing them.” In addition, your children need to know that they have your approval. So do not be overly critical, constantly correcting them. Rather, be generous with praise. Donizete, who has two teenage girls, recommends, “A father should make a point of looking for opportunities to commend his children.” Knowing that they have your approval can help your children to have a healthy sense of self-worth. That, in turn, can help them to draw closer to God.
2 Children Need a Positive Example
Jesus can do “only what he beholds the Father doing,” says John 5:19. Notice that the text says that Jesus saw and practiced what his Father was “doing.” Children will often do the same. For example, if the father treats his wife with respect and dignity, his son may well grow up to treat women with dignity and respect. Not only are boys’ attitudes affected by their father’s example but girls’ views of men may be influenced by their father’s example.
Do your children find it difficult to apologize? Here again, example is important. Kelvin remembers an occasion when two of his boys broke an expensive camera. He got so angry that he pounded a wooden table and it split in two. Kelvin felt very bad afterward and apologized to all, including his wife, for having lost his temper. He feels that his apology had a positive effect on his children; they do not have any difficulty in saying that they are sorry.
3 Children Need a Happy Environment
Jehovah is a “happy God.” (1 Timothy 1:11) Not surprisingly, his Son, Jesus, found great joy in being with his Father. Proverbs 8:30 sheds light on the relationship between Jesus and his Father: “I came to be beside him [the Father] as a master worker, . . . I being glad [“rejoicing,” NIV] before him all the time.” What a warm relationship existed between Father and Son!
Your children need a happy environment. Taking the time to play with your children can help to create such an environment. Playing together helps parent and child to bond. Felix agrees with that. He has a teenage son and says: “Setting aside time for recreation with my son has been very important to our relationship. We play games together, associate with friends, and visit enjoyable places. This has strengthened our sense of family togetherness.”
4 Children Need to Be Taught Spiritual Values
Jesus was taught by his Father. Jesus could therefore say: “The very things I heard from him [the Father] I am speaking in the world.” (John 8:26) In God’s eyes, a father is responsible for educating his children morally and spiritually. One of your responsibilities as a father is to inculcate right principles into the hearts of your children. Such training should start from an early age. (2 Timothy 3:14, 15) Felix began to read Bible stories to his son when he was still small. Felix used colorful, interesting stories, including those found in My Book of Bible Stories.* As his son grew older, Felix chose other Bible-based publications that were appropriate for his son’s age.
Donizete says: “It is a real challenge to make family Bible study enjoyable. It is important that parents show that they appreciate spiritual matters, since children are quick to note inconsistencies.” Carlos, who has three sons, comments: “We hold a weekly meeting to consider the family’s needs. Each member of the family has the opportunity to choose what will be discussed.” Kelvin always sought to talk to his children about God wherever they were and whatever they were doing. That reminds us of Moses’ words: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.
5 Children Need Discipline
Children need discipline so that they can grow up to be productive and responsible adults. Some parents seem to think that disciplining their children involves severe treatment, including harsh threats or belittling insults. The Bible, however, does not associate parental discipline with harshness. On the contrary, parents should discipline in love, just as Jehovah does. (Hebrews 12:4-11) The Bible says: “Fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.”—Ephesians 6:4.
Occasionally, punishment may be necessary. A child, though, should understand why he is being punished. Parental discipline should never leave a child feeling rejected. The Bible does not endorse severe beatings, which may even injure a child. (Proverbs 16:32) Kelvin comments, “When I needed to correct my children about serious matters, I always tried to make it clear that my motive for correcting them was my love for them.”
6 Children Need to Be Protected
Children need to be protected from unwholesome influences and potentially harmful associates. Sadly, there are “wicked men” in this world who are bent on exploiting innocent children. (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13) How can you protect your children? The Bible offers this wise advice: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty.” (Proverbs 22:3) To shield your children from calamity, you must be alert to dangers. Anticipate situations that could lead to problems, and take due precautions. For example, if you allow your children access to the Internet, be sure that they know how to use it safely. It may be best to keep the computer in an open area where you can easily monitor its use.
A father needs to prepare and train his children for the dangers they may face in this abusive world. Do your children know what to do in case someone tries to take advantage of them when you are not present?* Your children need to know the proper and improper use of their private body parts. Kelvin comments: “I never left this training to others, not even their teachers. I felt that it was my personal responsibility to teach my children about sex and the danger of child molesters.” All his children safely reached adulthood and are now happily married.
Seek God’s Help
The greatest gift a father can give to his children is that of helping them to develop a solid personal relationship with God. The father’s example is of utmost importance. Donizete says: “Fathers need to show how much they treasure their own relationship with God. This should become especially clear when they face personal problems or difficulties. On such occasions, the father shows how deeply he trusts in Jehovah. Family prayer, with repeated expressions of appreciation to God for His goodness, will teach children the importance of having God as their Friend.”
What, then, is the key to being a good father? Seek the advice of the one who knows best how to raise children—Jehovah God. If you train your children according to the guidance of God’s Word, you may well see the results described at Proverbs 22:6: “Even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.”
Sewing Machine
How to Be a Good Father
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”—Colossians 3:21, The Holy Bible—New International Version.
HOW can a father avoid making his children feel bitter? It is vital that he recognize the importance of his role as a father. “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children,” says one journal on mental health.
What is the role of a father? In many families the father is seen primarily as the one who dispenses discipline. Many a mother has told a misbehaving child, ‘Just wait till your father gets home!’ To be sure, children need balanced discipline and a measure of firmness if they are to become well-adjusted adults. More, though, is involved in being a good father.
Sadly, not every father had a good example to help him. Some men were raised without a father in the home. But in other cases, men who were brought up by a rigid, austere father may tend to treat their children the same way. How can such a father break that mold and improve his parenting skills?
There is a source of practical and trustworthy advice on how to be a good father. The Bible contains the best advice on family life. Its counsel is not mere theory; nor does its guidance ever work to our harm. The Bible’s counsel reflects the wisdom of its Author, Jehovah God, who is the Originator of family life. (Ephesians 3:14, 15) If you are a father, you would do well to consider what the Bible has to say about parenting. Although the Scriptural counsel considered in this article focuses primarily on the father’s role, many of the principles are applicable to mothers as well.
Being a good father is important not only for the physical and emotional welfare of your children but also for their spiritual well-being. A child who has a very loving and close relationship with his father may even find it easier to develop a close and intimate relationship with God. After all, the Bible shows that, in a sense, Jehovah, our Creator, is a Father to us. (Isaiah 64:8) Let us now consider six things that children need from their father. In each case, we will examine how applying Bible principles can help a father to fill those needs.
1 Children Need Their Father’s Love
Jehovah sets the perfect example as a Father. Describing how God feels about Jesus, his firstborn Son, the Bible says: “The Father loves the Son.” (John 3:35; Colossians 1:15) On more than one occasion, Jehovah expressed love for his Son and approval of him. When Jesus was baptized, Jehovah spoke from the heavens, saying: “You are my Son, the beloved; I have approved you.” (Luke 3:22) Jesus never doubted his Father’s love for him. What can a human father learn from God’s example?
Never be reluctant to tell your children that you love them. Kelvin, a father of five, says: “I have always tried to express my love for my children not only by telling them that I love them but also by showing a personal interest in each one of them. I shared in changing their diapers and in bathing them.” In addition, your children need to know that they have your approval. So do not be overly critical, constantly correcting them. Rather, be generous with praise. Donizete, who has two teenage girls, recommends, “A father should make a point of looking for opportunities to commend his children.” Knowing that they have your approval can help your children to have a healthy sense of self-worth. That, in turn, can help them to draw closer to God.
2 Children Need a Positive Example
Jesus can do “only what he beholds the Father doing,” says John 5:19. Notice that the text says that Jesus saw and practiced what his Father was “doing.” Children will often do the same. For example, if the father treats his wife with respect and dignity, his son may well grow up to treat women with dignity and respect. Not only are boys’ attitudes affected by their father’s example but girls’ views of men may be influenced by their father’s example.
Do your children find it difficult to apologize? Here again, example is important. Kelvin remembers an occasion when two of his boys broke an expensive camera. He got so angry that he pounded a wooden table and it split in two. Kelvin felt very bad afterward and apologized to all, including his wife, for having lost his temper. He feels that his apology had a positive effect on his children; they do not have any difficulty in saying that they are sorry.
3 Children Need a Happy Environment
Jehovah is a “happy God.” (1 Timothy 1:11) Not surprisingly, his Son, Jesus, found great joy in being with his Father. Proverbs 8:30 sheds light on the relationship between Jesus and his Father: “I came to be beside him [the Father] as a master worker, . . . I being glad [“rejoicing,” NIV] before him all the time.” What a warm relationship existed between Father and Son!
Your children need a happy environment. Taking the time to play with your children can help to create such an environment. Playing together helps parent and child to bond. Felix agrees with that. He has a teenage son and says: “Setting aside time for recreation with my son has been very important to our relationship. We play games together, associate with friends, and visit enjoyable places. This has strengthened our sense of family togetherness.”
4 Children Need to Be Taught Spiritual Values
Jesus was taught by his Father. Jesus could therefore say: “The very things I heard from him [the Father] I am speaking in the world.” (John 8:26) In God’s eyes, a father is responsible for educating his children morally and spiritually. One of your responsibilities as a father is to inculcate right principles into the hearts of your children. Such training should start from an early age. (2 Timothy 3:14, 15) Felix began to read Bible stories to his son when he was still small. Felix used colorful, interesting stories, including those found in My Book of Bible Stories.* As his son grew older, Felix chose other Bible-based publications that were appropriate for his son’s age.
Donizete says: “It is a real challenge to make family Bible study enjoyable. It is important that parents show that they appreciate spiritual matters, since children are quick to note inconsistencies.” Carlos, who has three sons, comments: “We hold a weekly meeting to consider the family’s needs. Each member of the family has the opportunity to choose what will be discussed.” Kelvin always sought to talk to his children about God wherever they were and whatever they were doing. That reminds us of Moses’ words: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.
5 Children Need Discipline
Children need discipline so that they can grow up to be productive and responsible adults. Some parents seem to think that disciplining their children involves severe treatment, including harsh threats or belittling insults. The Bible, however, does not associate parental discipline with harshness. On the contrary, parents should discipline in love, just as Jehovah does. (Hebrews 12:4-11) The Bible says: “Fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.”—Ephesians 6:4.
Occasionally, punishment may be necessary. A child, though, should understand why he is being punished. Parental discipline should never leave a child feeling rejected. The Bible does not endorse severe beatings, which may even injure a child. (Proverbs 16:32) Kelvin comments, “When I needed to correct my children about serious matters, I always tried to make it clear that my motive for correcting them was my love for them.”
6 Children Need to Be Protected
Children need to be protected from unwholesome influences and potentially harmful associates. Sadly, there are “wicked men” in this world who are bent on exploiting innocent children. (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13) How can you protect your children? The Bible offers this wise advice: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty.” (Proverbs 22:3) To shield your children from calamity, you must be alert to dangers. Anticipate situations that could lead to problems, and take due precautions. For example, if you allow your children access to the Internet, be sure that they know how to use it safely. It may be best to keep the computer in an open area where you can easily monitor its use.
A father needs to prepare and train his children for the dangers they may face in this abusive world. Do your children know what to do in case someone tries to take advantage of them when you are not present?* Your children need to know the proper and improper use of their private body parts. Kelvin comments: “I never left this training to others, not even their teachers. I felt that it was my personal responsibility to teach my children about sex and the danger of child molesters.” All his children safely reached adulthood and are now happily married.
Seek God’s Help
The greatest gift a father can give to his children is that of helping them to develop a solid personal relationship with God. The father’s example is of utmost importance. Donizete says: “Fathers need to show how much they treasure their own relationship with God. This should become especially clear when they face personal problems or difficulties. On such occasions, the father shows how deeply he trusts in Jehovah. Family prayer, with repeated expressions of appreciation to God for His goodness, will teach children the importance of having God as their Friend.”
What, then, is the key to being a good father? Seek the advice of the one who knows best how to raise children—Jehovah God. If you train your children according to the guidance of God’s Word, you may well see the results described at Proverbs 22:6: “Even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.”
HOW can a father avoid making his children feel bitter? It is vital that he recognize the importance of his role as a father. “Fatherhood turns out to be a complex and unique phenomenon with huge consequences for the emotional and intellectual growth of children,” says one journal on mental health.
What is the role of a father? In many families the father is seen primarily as the one who dispenses discipline. Many a mother has told a misbehaving child, ‘Just wait till your father gets home!’ To be sure, children need balanced discipline and a measure of firmness if they are to become well-adjusted adults. More, though, is involved in being a good father.
Sadly, not every father had a good example to help him. Some men were raised without a father in the home. But in other cases, men who were brought up by a rigid, austere father may tend to treat their children the same way. How can such a father break that mold and improve his parenting skills?
There is a source of practical and trustworthy advice on how to be a good father. The Bible contains the best advice on family life. Its counsel is not mere theory; nor does its guidance ever work to our harm. The Bible’s counsel reflects the wisdom of its Author, Jehovah God, who is the Originator of family life. (Ephesians 3:14, 15) If you are a father, you would do well to consider what the Bible has to say about parenting. Although the Scriptural counsel considered in this article focuses primarily on the father’s role, many of the principles are applicable to mothers as well.
Being a good father is important not only for the physical and emotional welfare of your children but also for their spiritual well-being. A child who has a very loving and close relationship with his father may even find it easier to develop a close and intimate relationship with God. After all, the Bible shows that, in a sense, Jehovah, our Creator, is a Father to us. (Isaiah 64:8) Let us now consider six things that children need from their father. In each case, we will examine how applying Bible principles can help a father to fill those needs.
1 Children Need Their Father’s Love
Jehovah sets the perfect example as a Father. Describing how God feels about Jesus, his firstborn Son, the Bible says: “The Father loves the Son.” (John 3:35; Colossians 1:15) On more than one occasion, Jehovah expressed love for his Son and approval of him. When Jesus was baptized, Jehovah spoke from the heavens, saying: “You are my Son, the beloved; I have approved you.” (Luke 3:22) Jesus never doubted his Father’s love for him. What can a human father learn from God’s example?
Never be reluctant to tell your children that you love them. Kelvin, a father of five, says: “I have always tried to express my love for my children not only by telling them that I love them but also by showing a personal interest in each one of them. I shared in changing their diapers and in bathing them.” In addition, your children need to know that they have your approval. So do not be overly critical, constantly correcting them. Rather, be generous with praise. Donizete, who has two teenage girls, recommends, “A father should make a point of looking for opportunities to commend his children.” Knowing that they have your approval can help your children to have a healthy sense of self-worth. That, in turn, can help them to draw closer to God.
2 Children Need a Positive Example
Jesus can do “only what he beholds the Father doing,” says John 5:19. Notice that the text says that Jesus saw and practiced what his Father was “doing.” Children will often do the same. For example, if the father treats his wife with respect and dignity, his son may well grow up to treat women with dignity and respect. Not only are boys’ attitudes affected by their father’s example but girls’ views of men may be influenced by their father’s example.
Do your children find it difficult to apologize? Here again, example is important. Kelvin remembers an occasion when two of his boys broke an expensive camera. He got so angry that he pounded a wooden table and it split in two. Kelvin felt very bad afterward and apologized to all, including his wife, for having lost his temper. He feels that his apology had a positive effect on his children; they do not have any difficulty in saying that they are sorry.
3 Children Need a Happy Environment
Jehovah is a “happy God.” (1 Timothy 1:11) Not surprisingly, his Son, Jesus, found great joy in being with his Father. Proverbs 8:30 sheds light on the relationship between Jesus and his Father: “I came to be beside him [the Father] as a master worker, . . . I being glad [“rejoicing,” NIV] before him all the time.” What a warm relationship existed between Father and Son!
Your children need a happy environment. Taking the time to play with your children can help to create such an environment. Playing together helps parent and child to bond. Felix agrees with that. He has a teenage son and says: “Setting aside time for recreation with my son has been very important to our relationship. We play games together, associate with friends, and visit enjoyable places. This has strengthened our sense of family togetherness.”
4 Children Need to Be Taught Spiritual Values
Jesus was taught by his Father. Jesus could therefore say: “The very things I heard from him [the Father] I am speaking in the world.” (John 8:26) In God’s eyes, a father is responsible for educating his children morally and spiritually. One of your responsibilities as a father is to inculcate right principles into the hearts of your children. Such training should start from an early age. (2 Timothy 3:14, 15) Felix began to read Bible stories to his son when he was still small. Felix used colorful, interesting stories, including those found in My Book of Bible Stories.* As his son grew older, Felix chose other Bible-based publications that were appropriate for his son’s age.
Donizete says: “It is a real challenge to make family Bible study enjoyable. It is important that parents show that they appreciate spiritual matters, since children are quick to note inconsistencies.” Carlos, who has three sons, comments: “We hold a weekly meeting to consider the family’s needs. Each member of the family has the opportunity to choose what will be discussed.” Kelvin always sought to talk to his children about God wherever they were and whatever they were doing. That reminds us of Moses’ words: “These words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7.
5 Children Need Discipline
Children need discipline so that they can grow up to be productive and responsible adults. Some parents seem to think that disciplining their children involves severe treatment, including harsh threats or belittling insults. The Bible, however, does not associate parental discipline with harshness. On the contrary, parents should discipline in love, just as Jehovah does. (Hebrews 12:4-11) The Bible says: “Fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.”—Ephesians 6:4.
Occasionally, punishment may be necessary. A child, though, should understand why he is being punished. Parental discipline should never leave a child feeling rejected. The Bible does not endorse severe beatings, which may even injure a child. (Proverbs 16:32) Kelvin comments, “When I needed to correct my children about serious matters, I always tried to make it clear that my motive for correcting them was my love for them.”
6 Children Need to Be Protected
Children need to be protected from unwholesome influences and potentially harmful associates. Sadly, there are “wicked men” in this world who are bent on exploiting innocent children. (2 Timothy 3:1-5, 13) How can you protect your children? The Bible offers this wise advice: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty.” (Proverbs 22:3) To shield your children from calamity, you must be alert to dangers. Anticipate situations that could lead to problems, and take due precautions. For example, if you allow your children access to the Internet, be sure that they know how to use it safely. It may be best to keep the computer in an open area where you can easily monitor its use.
A father needs to prepare and train his children for the dangers they may face in this abusive world. Do your children know what to do in case someone tries to take advantage of them when you are not present?* Your children need to know the proper and improper use of their private body parts. Kelvin comments: “I never left this training to others, not even their teachers. I felt that it was my personal responsibility to teach my children about sex and the danger of child molesters.” All his children safely reached adulthood and are now happily married.
Seek God’s Help
The greatest gift a father can give to his children is that of helping them to develop a solid personal relationship with God. The father’s example is of utmost importance. Donizete says: “Fathers need to show how much they treasure their own relationship with God. This should become especially clear when they face personal problems or difficulties. On such occasions, the father shows how deeply he trusts in Jehovah. Family prayer, with repeated expressions of appreciation to God for His goodness, will teach children the importance of having God as their Friend.”
What, then, is the key to being a good father? Seek the advice of the one who knows best how to raise children—Jehovah God. If you train your children according to the guidance of God’s Word, you may well see the results described at Proverbs 22:6: “Even when he grows old he will not turn aside from it.”
Four Factors That Makes A Good Friend?
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Consider the following four guiding principles, and note how the Bible’s practical advice can help you to be the kind of person others would want as a friend.
1. Show That You Really Care
True friendship involves commitment. In other words, a good friend feels a responsibility toward you, and he really cares about you. Of course, such commitment is two-way, and it requires hard work and sacrifice on both sides. But the rewards are worth the effort. Ask yourself, ‘Am I willing to give of myself, my time, and my resources for my friend?’ Remember, to have a good friend, you first need to be a good friend.
WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND
Irene: “Like cultivating a beautiful garden, building a friendship requires a lot of time and care. Start by wanting to be a good friend yourself. Be generous in showing affection and personal interest. And be willing to sacrifice your time when you are needed.”
Luis Alfonso: “Modern-day society encourages egotism rather than altruism. So it means a lot when someone takes a sincere interest in you without necessarily expecting anything in return.”
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
“Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them. Practice giving, and people will give to you.” (Luke 6:31, 38) Here Jesus recommends true unselfishness and generosity. Such generosity nurtures good friendships. If you expend yourself in behalf of your friends without expecting anything in return, they will naturally feel drawn to you.
2. Be a Good Communicator
A true friendship cannot flourish without regular communication. So talk together about the interests you share. Listen to what your friend has to say, and respect his opinions. Whenever possible, commend and encourage him. At times, a friend may need advice or even correction, and that may not always be easy to give. However, a loyal friend will have the courage to point out a serious fault and offer tactful guidance.
WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND
Juan: “A true friend should be able to express his opinions freely but not get upset if you don’t agree.”
Eunice: “What I value most are friends who are willing to spend time with me and listen to me, especially when I have problems.”
Silvina: “True friends will tell you the truth—even if they know it will hurt—because they have your best interests at heart.”
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
“Everyone must be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” (James 1:19) Good friends always appreciate a listening ear. Monopolizing the conversation, however, conveys the message that we feel our opinions are more important than theirs. So be attentive when a friend wishes to share his innermost thoughts and concerns. And do not get offended if he is honest with you. “The wounds inflicted by a friend are faithful,” says Proverbs 27:6.
3. Have Realistic Expectations
The closer we get to a friend, the more likely we are to see his flaws. Our friends are not perfect, but neither are we. Therefore, we should never expect or demand perfection from the people we befriend. Rather, it is good to cherish their virtues and to make allowances for their mistakes.
WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND
Samuel: “We often have higher expectations of others than we have of ourselves. If we recognize our own mistakes and our own need for forgiveness, then we’re more willing to forgive others.”
Daniel: “Accept the fact that your friends will make mistakes. When problems arise, we do well to resolve them quickly and try hard to forget.”
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
A woman asking another woman for forgiveness
Are you willing to forgive?—Colossians 3:13, 14
“We all stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body.” (James 3:2) Recognizing this simple truth can help us to be understanding toward our friends. That, in turn, will allow us to overlook minor faults and shortcomings that may irritate us. The Bible says: “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely even if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. . . . But besides all these things, clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.”—Colossians 3:13, 14.
4. Widen Your Circle of Friends
True, we need to be selective about the people we befriend. But that does not mean narrowing our choice of friends to those of a certain age or upbringing. Taking an interest in people of all ages, cultural backgrounds, and nationalities can truly enrich our lives.
WHAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND
Unai: “Making friends with only those who are your age and have the same tastes as you is like wearing clothing in your favorite color all the time. No matter how much you like that color, at some point you may end up getting bored with it.”
Funke: “Widening my circle of friends has given me the opportunity to mature as a person. I’ve learned to get along with people of all ages and backgrounds, and that has made me more outgoing and adaptable. And my friends really appreciate that.”
Friends of all ages and backgrounds at a social gathering
Are you reaching out to people of all kinds?—2 Corinthians 6:13
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
“So in response—I speak as to my children—you too open your hearts wide.” (2 Corinthians 6:13) The Bible encourages us to reach out to people of all kinds. This inclusive, impartial view of friendship can add variety to your life, as well as endear you to others.
HOW TO FIND A TRUE FRIEND:
1. Take the initiative. When it comes to finding a true friend, you can't afford to be lazy. A real friend won't just magically materialize on your doorstep, so you need to be willing to put some work in. Take matters into your own hands and start socializing.
Stop waiting for other people to do the work for you. Call people up and ask if you can hang out with them, or organize an event yourself.
Don't worry about seeming desperate or needy. Focus on you and your goal. If it all works out in the end, then who cares?
2. Meet new people. You won't make friends by sitting at home alone every night. You need to be proactive, so force yourself out of the house and meet as many people as possible. It might be intimidating at first, but it'll be worth it in the end.
One of the easiest ways to meet people is through friends you already have. Tag along to a party or social event and get your friend to make the introductions.
Meet people through hobbies or classes. Friends are generally people that you share a common interest with, so the people you meet through hobbies or classes are excellent potential friend material.
Meet people through work. You might have a work colleague who you feel a connection with, but you've never hung out socially. Now is the time.
Meet people online. Sometimes there's a stigma attached to meeting people online, but it can be a genuinely great way to meet people. Blogging, social networking and posting on online forums are all perfectly viable ways of socializing.
Don't be oversensitive. Meeting people for the first time can be tough. They may seem disinterested or unwilling to make an effort. Or else you might hit it off instantly, but you never hear from them again. Don't be disheartened. Finding a true friend takes time.
4. Don't be picky. Keep an open mind about who you hang out with. When you're trying to make friends, being picky is not a good strategy. Your initial goal is to meet as many people as possible, so talk to everybody and keep an open mind.
Even if you meet someone who looks or seems like someone you'd have nothing in common with, talk to them and give them a chance.
You're not going to know a true friend at first sight - you'll have to get to know them first - so consider every possibility!
5 Be persistent. Even if your first attempt at putting yourself out there isn't as successful as you had hoped, don't despair! People can take a little while to warm up, so the second or third time meeting someone might go a lot better than the first.
If you invite someone to hang out, don't be upset if they can't make it. Chances are they have a genuine excuse, it's not because they don't like you. Give it a week or two, then ask again.
Be patient. It takes time to really get to know someone, especially when you're looking for true friendship. If you continue to put yourself out there and make an effort to hang out with as many people as possible, eventually you'll find someone you genuinely connect with.
Be realistic about how much time it'll take to really get to know someone. Sure, you might hit it off and feel like you've known someone for ten years rather than ten minutes, but usually it'll take much longer, depending on how often you hang out.
In the right situations, you can make new friends very quickly - like when you start college, move to a new city, or join a sports teams.
3 Ways you can get your mind off sex?
What you can do
Choose your associates carefully. If your friends and classmates start to talk about immoral sex, joining in will only make it more difficult for you to control your thoughts. Often, you can find a way to leave such conversations without appearing self-righteous and inviting ridicule.
A teenage boy funneling trash into his mind
Would you allow viruses to invade your computer? Then why invite immoral thoughts into your mind?
Shun immoral entertainment. Much of today’s entertainment is designed to arouse improper sexual feelings. The Bible’s counsel? “Let us cleanse ourselves of every defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in God’s fear.” (2 Corinthians 7:1) Steer clear of entertainment that stimulates sexual desires.
Remember this: Sexual feelings aren't evil in themselves. After all, God created man and woman to have a strong attraction for each other, and satisfying sexual desire is proper within marriage. So if you experience intense sexual urges, don’t think that you’re inherently bad or that you’re just not cut out for moral cleanness.
The bottom line: You can choose what you will let your mind dwell on. Both in your thinking and in your conduct, you can be chaste if you choose to!
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